reassuring, because they don’t have scheduled passenger services in those books he didn’t read; therefore, normality still prevailed somewhere, even if it was only at twenty thousand feet above sea level. Then the airliner changed course.
It flew in a lazy half-circle; and although from his viewpoint it seemed to take a long time to trace its course against the blue background, once he’d taken relativity and all that stuff into account, he figured that the pilot was taking a hell of a risk banking and turning so steeply at such high speed; if he carried on like that, he’d rip his plane’s wings off. But on it flew, describing an even tighter circle, followed by a loop and a dip and what was presumably something along the lines of an Immelman turn. Theo felt his jaw drop open. Even in a jet fighter, you’d be pulling so much G-force doing that, you’d black out. In a 747 –
He looked at the vapour trail. It was writing.
Just looking at it made him feel sick, but it was unmistakably writing; the first big loop was a capital C, followed by a small o, leading into an n; and now the lunatic was throwing his plane into another tight circle followed by a slingshot, to form the tail of a g. Skywriting, for crying out loud.
It was unbearable to watch, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. The letters continued to form; faster now, so God only knew what speed the plane was making. An r, an a, a t, a u; Congratulations.
Theo staggered backwards until he felt the trunk of the tree against his back; he slid down it and landed in a heap, sitting awkwardly on his left leg. Sure enough, the plane carried on tracing out Congratulations in white vapour against the relentlessly blue sky.
His first thought was, it’s got to be the Nobel people. Somehow they’ve found out I’ve solved the Doomsday equation, and this is their way of telling me I just made the shortlist. Tempting though the hypothesis was, however, it didn’t quite jive with what he knew about the Nobel Committee, who were serious, rather humourless folk, not given to flamboyant gestures. Besides, the plane was still busily writing – on your. No earthly use hypothesising in the absence of hard data. He leaned his head back against the tree and watched. And, because it was decidedly warm, and the tree was surprisingly comfortable, and the distant hum of the aeroplane had a certain soothing quality –
He woke up. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but it was long enough for the plane to have covered at least a third of the sky with neat, perfectly spaced and fully justified white lettering. Which said –
Congratulations on your purchase of the revolutionary new VGI YouSpace hand-held portable pocket universe containment module, the ultimate in wish-fulfilment reality technology.
Ever been told that you live in a world of your own? Now you can do just that, with YouSpace. Completely real, absolutely genuine, no annoying Virtual Reality gloves and goggles; lovingly tailored to meet your dreams and aspirations by the expert design team at VGI Parallel Universes Inc.
YouSpace: a full-sized alternative reality small enough to carry in your coat pocket, big enough to hold an infinite number of galaxies (NB galaxies not included), entirely self-contained, with its own multiphasic timeline (so that you can spend forty years there in your lunch hour and still have time for lunch), accessed via the VGI XPX5000 E-Z-Port (TM), guaranteed for a lifetime and absolutely safe. All for $49.95*.
He tore his eyes away from the main text and found the footnote, in much smaller letters, hovering over a distant rocky outcrop;
* Electromagnetic containment field sold separately; typically, basic VGI ZX7677 model retails at $ 8.8 bn; terms and conditions apply.
There’s always something, he thought, and looked back at the main text.
YouSpace comes bundled with five default universes plus entry into the VGI Clubhouse (TM) shared universe (for social networking); your YouSpace unit can also accommodate up to 16 custom universes hand-crafted to your exact specifications by our design team. Although VGI makes every effort to ensure that its products are safe to use, it accepts no responsibility for the vicissitudes of fate, M-Space fluctuations or errors caused by careless or slipshod design. Very occasionally, universes may intersect and participants may find themselves in someone else’s fantasy; in which case, they are urged to make their way as quickly as possible to the