he know about that? I mean, I read about it, I even so shamelessly searched it in the porn site bar. I felt sick to my stomach for the entire week after. How could I be interested in something that ruined women’s lives?
How could I be so deprived to fantasise about it?
Maybe Aiden is my karma. Maybe I’m being punished for ever thinking about that.
A spark shines in his eyes. “You have heard about it.”
“No,” I murmur turning my head to the side. “You’re the only one who’s interested in these perverted things.”
God. I’m such a hypocrite.
“You should look it up.” He grabs my chin and makes me face him. “I think you’ll find it useful.”
“Useful how?”
A wolfish grin curves his lips. He knows he got my interest. Bastard.
“There are people who like the rush of adrenaline that comes with rough, out of control sex. So they like being forced into it.”
“People like to be raped?” I thought it was just a fantasy, not practical… right?
“No. They like being forced to have sex. They usually plan it with their partners, so it’s technically not rape.”
“Is that the excuse you tell yourself?”
“I don’t tell myself excuses. I’m completely assertive of who and what I am. I know I’m different, I just don’t care.” His finger traces down my cheek. “The excuse is for you since you seem to so desperately need it.”
“I do not.”
“Fuck, Elsa. Stop being so damn stubborn.”
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” I hate the tremors in my voice. “Why don’t you let me go?”
A strange tightness grips my chest at the thought.
What if he really lets me go. What if he —
“I can’t,” His voice drops.
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
Something sharp and heavy slices through my chest. Aiden always has a choice. Hell, he even makes it clear that all choices are to his benefit.
It doesn’t make sense that he’s the one without a choice.
“Are you playing another mind game?”
“Are you, Elsa? Because I was never supposed to like you this much. Hell. I wasn’t supposed to think about you more than I think of myself.”
I was never supposed to like you this much.
Did I hear that right? Did Aiden just admit to liking me?
I think it’s right. I think… Aiden likes me.
And I believe him.
Unlike me, Aiden is assertive to a fault. He’s not afraid of admitting what he wants.
He’s free in ways you aren’t. Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to him.
Kim’s words hit me like an unexpected blow.
I waited for you to want me.
I’m not supposed to like you this much.
Those words dig black holes into my defences.
I let my hand travel up from his chest to the rippling tendons of his collarbone. Aiden grabs my hand in his stronger one.
He shakes his head once. “Not so fast.”
“W-what? But why?” Shame at being rejected sinks at the bottom of my stomach.
Isn’t this what he wanted?
“Kiss me,” he says.
“Kiss you,” I repeat, still confused out of my mind.
“This time, I want you to wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me first, Elsa.”
He’s so unfair. I should’ve known that he won’t only take. I should’ve known that he’d eventually want me to give.
He’s not interested in one battle, he wants to win the entire bloody war.
A small voice whispers that I’ll regret this tomorrow, but I don’t care about tomorrow right now.
I retrieve my hand from his and wrap both my arms around his neck.
Then I seal my lips to his.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
My kiss is tentative. Experimental.
It’s the first time I initiate a kiss. The first time I kiss Aiden without him basically forcing it on me.
At first, it’s a slight press of my lips against his firm ones. Then, my tongue darts out and I lick his bottom lip over and over. Gaining more boldness, I pull myself up and slightly nibble on it before trailing soft kisses on the corner of his mouth.
The whole time, Aiden watches me with hooded eyes. Both his arms are taut as he leans his hands on the bed.
He’s not touching me.
My bold phase shrinks a little. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe —
“Fuck this,” Aiden groans as his lips crash to mine.
His kiss is the complete opposite of my gentle ones. Aiden kisses like a madman searching for his sanity. It’s always out of control. My breathing ceases when he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth and devours me.
That’s what Aiden does. He devours. He shreds me apart and strips me bare until he owns every part