“I hope those two will be parents for fucking once and not disappoint him.”
“Kim…”
“Doesn’t matter. Kir has me.” She throws a dismissive hand as she stands and faces me with a strange expression. “You know you can talk to me about the whole King thing, right?”
I hate how my chest flips at the mere mention of his name.
“The whole King thing?”
“You know, the part about coming all over his face? Twice?”
My cheeks heat and I wish I could hide in a hole. “Here I thought you’d forgotten about that.”
“Hell no.” She chuckles, nudging me. “I was waiting for you to fess up.”
“I’m just…” I hang my head against the wall. “I don’t know. He’s so intense and I feel like if I give in to him, I’ll never find a way out. Not to mention that he’s distracting me. Cambridge is just around the corner and there’s no way in hell I’m letting anything take it away from me, especially not some boy drama, but…”
“But?”
“But I feel a sick type of relief whenever he comes to find me, corners me, and takes away the decision. Isn’t that crazy?”
“All the best things usually are.” She grins.
I jab her shoulders playfully. “You’re not helping.”
“Ellie, you’re my best friend and I love you, but you’re too… safe.” Kim’s voice shifts to the grownup tone she uses with her little brother. “You’ve been living your life so much by the rules, it’s like you’re a thirty year-old woman wrapped in an eighteen year-old body.”
I should be offended, but I’m not.
“That’s not true,” I tell her.
“Not true?” She gives me an ‘Are you shitting me’ look. “You didn’t touch the ice cream even though your aunt isn’t here. I’m sure a bite or two won’t kill you, but you don’t even want to consider going against your aunt’s wishes.”
“Those types of food rot the body.”
“Do you hear yourself? You sound just like your aunt — and that’s not a compliment.”
“Kim!”
“I mean, look at your interests.”
“What about them?”
“You picked up yoga because of your aunt. You like football because of your uncle. Hell, you’re going to Cambridge because they’re alumni. ”
I cross my arms. “Aunt and Uncle saved me from the alternative of foster homes. They gave me a safe, healthy upbringing. If it weren’t for the heart surgery they paid for, I would’ve died. There’s nothing wrong with wanting them to be happy.”
“Sure. You’re totally right.” Kim leans against the wall. “But have you thought that maybe you’re living your aunt and uncle’s lives, not yours? Maybe that’s why you’re so inexplicably drawn to King.”
“What? How?”
“You’ve always lived by the rules. He doesn’t. He’s free in ways you aren’t. Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to him.”
Kim’s words strike so deeply, I visibly flinch.
“You know, in the summer camp, this Buddha priest chap told us an interesting tidbit,” she continues.
“What?”
“Souls are attracted to each other.”
After saying goodbye, I stand rooted at the entrance, her last words playing like an echo in my head.
Souls are attracted to each other.
Aiden’s soul is black, so what does that make mine?
I’m about to head inside when I catch movement. A black car is parked across from the house right under the streetlamp. The windows are tinted so I can’t see inside.
The car has been there for the entire day before I went to school and after I returned.
An ominous feeling creeps down my spine. It’s like I’ve seen that car before.
Where?
I bolt the door and activate the alarm system.
The house feels so calm, eery and… cold.
I sit down for dinner, but I’m not really hungry. I eat anyway so Aunt won’t feel upset if she finds the boxes as she left them.
Have you thought that maybe you’re living your aunt and uncle’s lives, not yours? Kim’s words return and I shoo them away.
I need to eat, because unlike no one knows, my heart is acting up again. I know I should visit Dr Albert soon, but I need to participate in the track competition first.
The other time, Dr Albert mentioned another surgery. Not only will I kiss track running goodbye, but I might lose precious months that I should use to prepare for college.
I intend to live this year to the fullest, and then when it’s time for the surgery, I will have it.
While I’m eating, I play chess against myself, knocking the black king a few times.
See, I love playing chess. Kim was wrong, not all my interests are linked to Aunt and Uncle. Even if Uncle Jaxon first