I do have one—blend with yours instead of just trying to make me forget I ever had one. If you can’t do that, and if you can’t give me your heart, not ever, then I can’t do this to myself.”
Phenex slid off the bed and backed away, unsure of what he’d just done. Sofia was watching him, crying silently, and every tear that fell felt like drops of fire on his own skin. Why did she have to love him? That word…he’d seen it ruin too many things. He didn’t want to feel it, even if he could.
“You know what I am,” Phenex said softly. “This is a big deal for me, Sofia. I wasn’t expecting to want you like I do. I don’t know what else I can give. What I have would have to be enough.”
The look she gave him was haunted. “I see what you are, and what you could be. I know this is a big step for you, Phenex. I…I get that.” She wiped at her eye. “But this works both ways. You know what I am. And it would have to be enough, too.”
It was too much. Everything, all of it. He was a dark thing, he couldn’t love, couldn’t be loved…he had made himself safe from the terrible power of that word, that emotion. But from deep inside, fear surfaced, showing him images of a white-haired woman with Sofia’s face lying peacefully in a hospital, her hands folded over her chest. He stood staring down at her, the same as he was now. Always the same.
If only she would just let him have her. Do as she was told. Except…then she wouldn’t be Sofia. And he damn well knew it.
“I can’t,” he said, utterly broken. “I just…can’t.”
Sofia simply nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know.”
Unable to take any more pain, Phenex rushed for the window and vanished upward, into the light of a blazing sun.
Chapter Twenty-One
She’d thought he would come back. Some part of her really had thought he would return, if only to make her another ridiculous offer, or to keep fighting. That’s what she really wanted—for him to keep fighting. To fight for her.
As the sun sank into the ocean, Sofia stood at the doors that looked out over the sea, the salty breeze lifting and blowing her hair, gentle as a kiss.
Phenex might not have a heart to give, but he’d broken hers.
When the tears came, for what felt like the thousandth time that day, they were slow and silent. She’d offered him the only thing she had to give—her heart. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted the one thing she couldn’t give up.
Her life.
It was hopeless. Maybe she’d known that from the beginning. She just hadn’t understood how much having to let go would hurt.
Sofia stood at the doors for so long that she lost track of time, finally turning away when her eyes began to water from the sand in the rising breeze. The sun was gone, the world had fallen into darkness by the time she came back to herself. She wanted, needed some light. It had gone far too quickly. The room seemed to have gone black as pitch behind her.
Sofia took a step forward, then another, and felt the air begin to thicken. She’d felt that once before. The horror crept up her throat, but just as before, her limbs grew heavy, and then stopped working altogether.
“So sad, little human,” came the soft hiss out of the blackness swirling around her. “So very, very sad. You’ve become just the weakness I’d hoped. I’ve been waiting, you know. Waiting and watching, knowing what was coming. I knew what would kill him the night I discovered he’d stolen my pretty bird and set her free—his pathetic angel’s heart. This fall will be his last.”
“You’re wrong,” Sofia choked out as her throat threatened to betray her. “We’re done. He doesn’t love me. He can’t. So it’s over. You’re only hurting me, not him.”
The laugh was bright and somehow awful, like the shrieks in a carnival funhouse.
“Wrong, you hairless ape. You’re as stupid as he is. Come along with me, darling. Come help me destroy the worthless, treacherous bastards of Terra Noctem. Amphora will burn, and you with it. He’ll see you go up in flames, just like all the demons he’s killed. Then he can burn, too. But I want to see his face when he hears you screaming. It will be sweeter than any music he’s