blood on her hand when she found Vivek’s body, and a wave of revulsion sent her running into the house to vomit into the nearest toilet. She heard faint laughter from the men outside and knew they were laughing at her. Maybe they didn’t know she was the dead boy’s mother, but it didn’t matter; no one knew what it was like, what it had been like to find him.
She still had nightmares about it, though: dreams where she rushed out and there was nothing on the veranda except a widening pool of blood still enough to capture her reflection. Where he opened his eyes and laughed when she pulled back the cloth, where it was all a trick, a joke. Where she lifted his head up and he dissolved into dust in her hands, leaving her with nothing but that akwete cloth. Leaning against the porcelain of the toilet, she wondered what would have happened if someone hadn’t brought Vivek back to the house, if they had just left him wherever he died. Would he have rotted there? Would anyone have cleared his body? She thought about what she owed to whoever had brought him. It killed her not to know who it was, what had happened.
Outside, she heard the crackle of the fire starting. The goat meat would be ready by the time the burial service was over that afternoon. They would make pepper soup from the entrails. Kavita flushed the toilet and closed the lid, her horror washing away in a whirlpool of blue water.
When the priest arrived, the boys who had brought the casket closed it and carried it into the compound, where a grave had been dug next to Ahunna’s. They put it down on top of two lengths of rope, then stepped back as the priest began a short service. The mourners sat on rented plastic chairs, or stood behind them. Kavita listened as the priest read scripture, letting the chant of the words filter over her; she watched, numb, as he performed the consecration of the grave. They were preparing to take her child away, to weigh him down under so much soil. The grave was a red yawn in the ground; the pile of dirt next to it matched Chika’s skin. If Chika stripped down and lay in the grave, and she looked down into it, what would she see? Would he just soak into it as if he’d been made of clay all along, molded together with a little water, animated for her behalf so they could have a child only to bury him?
She looked down at her hands, at the funeral program someone had designed and printed. Probably Ekene and Mary. She almost wished she could forgive them for the church incident. The program was full of pictures of Vivek as a small boy, a baby; none of them looked like him now. It was as if whoever had selected the pictures had decided to end the timeline before Vivek had grown his hair out. Kavita didn’t know whether to be relieved that he was frozen in time this way, or annoyed that they wanted to pretend he was someone else. She had already heard comments, whispered things that floated up the stairs because no one really knew how to whisper: people asking why his hair hadn’t been cut, why his parents would allow him to be buried like that. They blamed it on Kavita, said that she was the reason Chika was allowing things like this. She wanted to be angry, but all she could muster was a bit of wonder that they could speak that way with his body still under the roof.
The young boys came forward again, four of them, and grabbed hold of the ropes stretched under the casket. Straining till their muscles shone, they started to lower the casket into the ground. Kavita heard Chika make a choked sound and she fumbled for his hand, tight and sweaty. The ropes jerked and slid as the casket was swallowed, the red earth blocking its dark grain. Once it hit the bottom, they dragged the ropes out from under it and took them away, coiling them up. Chika and Kavita got up to throw clods of soil into the grave, whispering their good-byes through their tears. Mary and Ekene followed them, then Osita and Vivek’s friends. When everyone had done their own, the boys started to shovel the earth into the grave, filling it. Kavita walked back