snarl. “Yes,” she said, her voice saccharine. “He was your cousin.” She was looking me straight in the eye; I could see her disgust. I wondered how much Juju had told her, or if it even mattered at this point.
Juju glared briefly at Elizabeth, then turned to me again. “Should she know?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but then our food came and I swallowed the words. We all fell silent for a bit, shifting things around to make space on the table.
After the waiter left, Juju took a piece of fried yam and waited for my answer. Elizabeth started eating her suya, her eyes on my face. The sisters blew on the bowl of pepper soup they were sharing, and I stared down at my plate for a moment, looking at the oil-slick ugba and the blackness of the fried snail. The smell was rich and thick in my nostrils.
“Show her,” I said, surprising even myself.
“Jesus Christ,” said Somto.
Juju coughed on a piece of yam. “Wait, really?” She hadn’t expected me to agree. She thought I’d want to hide him.
“Show them to her,” I repeated, closing the envelope and handing it back to Juju.
“You people are going to kill that woman,” said Somto. “Wallahi.”
I ignored that. “You’re right,” I said to Juju. “She needs answers. We’re all pretending he wasn’t killed. As if Vivek dying was a normal thing.”
“But we know why he was killed,” muttered Olunne, poking her straw into her glass.
“Exactly,” I said. “We know. But she doesn’t. So show her, so that she can understand. So she can stop asking questions.”
“If you think that’s going to stop her from asking questions, you’re mad.” Somto picked up her spoon and swirled it in the pepper soup.
“No, she’ll continue asking questions. But she’ll ask different ones. And maybe they’ll be questions we can answer.”
Juju looked like she was about to cry. “Thank you,” she said. “I just can’t be lying like this.”
“Jesus,” said Olunne. “This is going to be crazy. If you tell her, all our parents are going to know. That means they’re going to ask us questions. All of us. Why we allowed it. Why we didn’t tell them.”
“It wasn’t their business,” said Juju.
“Is that so? I want to be there when you tell that to your mother. I’m sure she’ll understand.” Olunne dumped her straw in the glass and folded her arms. “This is going to be a disaster. They’re going to kill us.”
“At least we’re alive,” Juju said. “Vivek isn’t.”
The table fell silent. Then Somto put her face in her hands and groaned. “I can’t believe you’re going to make us do this.”
I stared at my food, my appetite gone, my chest tightening from seeing his pictures. “I have to start getting back to Owerri,” I said, standing up. The girls looked up at me, surprised.
“You’re not staying with Aunty Kavita?” Somto asked.
I shook my head. “I told my mother I’d come back tonight.”
“You should stay,” Olunne said. “It’s not safe to travel all the way to Owerri this late.”
“It’s fine. I’ve done it before.”
Juju stood up. “I’ll walk you out,” she offered. I said good-bye and watched Elizabeth watch her as we left the table. We walked through the front building and the lobby, stopping just outside the gate.
“Are you sure you have to go?” Juju asked.
She was standing close to me but I didn’t want to step back. “I’m sure Elizabeth will be happy I’m leaving,” I said.
“Don’t mind her. She just had a hard time when she found out, you know?”
I didn’t really know what to say about that—her girlfriend finding out about my relationship with my cousin—so we just stood in the pool of the security light for a few minutes.
“If you don’t want to stay with your aunty and uncle, I understand,” Juju said. “I wouldn’t want to sleep there without Vivek, either. You know you can always come and stay at my house for the night.”
I laughed. “Imagine what your father would say to that.”
“He’s traveling for work. Actually for work this time. And Mumsy knows you, and you’ve stayed before. It’s not a problem.”
“Thank you, but I’m okay. I should start going.”
Juju hugged me and I hugged her back, tightly. Again, the thought came: Vivek would want me to take care of her. But I wasn’t him, and I couldn’t replace who he’d been to her. I didn’t fit into this particular jigsaw. She waved to me after I let her go, and I waved back as