they were strangers to her, acquaintances at best.
At first, she'd wanted to share her growing awareness of the life inside her with Jason, to make plans, to wonder together what their child would be like. Their child—hers and Jason's. But Jason had been so aloof, so distant, as if by ignoring her condition he could make it disappear.
Now she understood so many things. Jason was right. She hadn't considered the depths of the emotional scars such a childhood would leave—until that day at the beneficio.
For more than a month now, she'd been reliving their last argument over and over in her mind. She'd contemplated Jason's revelations and considered how the things that had happened to him had shaped him into the man he was today.
She released a wretched sigh. He'd become a wraith during the past month, a phantom. From time to time she'd feel a prickling of sensation that told her he was nearby, but she never actually saw him.
Not sure what to say to him, she'd allowed him to withdraw. They both needed some time to sort out all the things that had passed between them. Perhaps they just couldn't live together.
He wanted this child; she'd seen the yearning in his eyes when he'd let down his guard. And yet, when she'd taken his hand and placed it on her stomach, he'd pulled away from her as if he couldn't bear to touch her, as if the very thought terrified him.
What did it matter now? She'd tried to reach him, tried every way she knew, and she'd failed. He had finally won. And so today she had boarded the mail boat as it docked at Jason's pier and sailed away..
Sniffing loudly, she went over her plan again in her mind. Within three weeks, she would be safely in Manaus. She'd wire Melanie for money. She hated to do so, but Melanie was her only hope, her only friend. She had enough money to survive in Manaus for a while, but time was not her ally. She would be able to go no farther before the baby was born.
Perhaps it had all worked out for the best, in some strange, unexpected way, she thought, as she watched the shore move swiftly past, the mail boat carrying her farther and farther away from her heart. She'd been so afraid of having this baby alone in the wilderness, now at least she would be in a city. Surely she would be able to locate a doctor.
If only...
Oh, she could go mad dwelling on the if onlys. If only she'd had more time.... If only she hadn't forced him into a corner time and again.... If only she'd allowed Jason to be Jason instead of trying to mold him into what she wanted him to be.
Caroline gazed around in dismay. She'd been so deep in thought, she hadn't noticed how dark the hazy afternoon sky had become. On all sides, the walls of vegetation receded into shadows. The cold slate-blue sky went suddenly purple and the boat's captain steered the craft toward the almost indiscernible bank to their left.
One crew member walked toward her across the deck as the rain began to fall, slowly at first, the violence of the storm increasing with every passing second. She reached the cover of the striped canopy just in time, just as the man she knew only as Juao reached her.
"The captain knows of a cabin where we can wait out the storm," he told her in impeccable English, his tone apologetic, his dark, bushy brows drawing together in a frown of regret.
As Juao bowed to her and moved toward the front of the boat, Caroline clung to one of the poles that held the awning in place. The boat pitched in the suddenly violent river. She could barely see in front of her now, and the savage pounding of the rain and the stench of sodden leaves and earth ravaged her senses, causing her to yearn for the safety of her rooms at the fazenda.
A fierce shudder ripped through the small boat, and to Caroline's horror, it began listing to the left, leaning so far in that direction that she nearly fell over the side.
She screamed as the pole she'd been clinging to snapped in half, but the sound died unheard in the roaring tempest. The deck fell away, vanishing from beneath her feet, and she was falling, tumbling through an infinite void just before a blow to her head rendered her senseless and