It felt natural. Right.
A cold panic gripped me. I was going to lose my wolf. My heart raced, and I had to concentrate hard on staying calm. I didn’t want Jez to smell my fear. This was no time to be self-centered. Her pain came first; my worry could wait.
I held tight to Jez, burying my face in her gold locks. Only after she fell asleep did I let myself fall into a fitful slumber. In my dreams, I was still holding her, but as a victim instead. Her scent was no longer that of a kindred being but of my prey. I saw only blood, tasted only death.
I awoke with my heart thundering in my ears. Even in my dreams, I couldn’t escape from the future I so desperately feared.
Chapter Thirteen
I woke up with a smile. It was just past sunset when the dream-world images of Shaz faded and I came back to myself. At least not all of my dreams were unpleasant, but waking up to realize it wasn’t real was somewhat of a burn.
Jez was gone from the bed. Only her scent remained to indicate she’d been there. I found her in the kitchen with a bottle of wine in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. She leaned back in a chair at the table, my laptop open in front of her.
“Hey.” She raised the bottle in greeting. Shadows lined her eyes. She clearly hadn’t slept well. “You should probably put a password on this thing. Anyone could read this shit.”
The bottle was almost empty. Jez had moved quickly from the crying stage to the drinking stage. It worried me. This stage was brutal; I’d been there myself.
“I’m destroying them once I read every last word. But, you’re right.” I stared into the fridge out of habit before deciding I didn’t have much of an appetite. “So, what do you think?”
“I think if you’ve found out who exactly Lilah is hiding from, we’ve solved that problem. I also think you read the part about Kale and freaked out, which would explain why you came to bed stinking like fear.” Tipping the bottle to her lips, she drained the last of it in one long swallow. “You were born to be a wolf, Alexa. The vampire thing happened by chance. Don’t worry. You’ll figure this out.”
I forced a tight smile. “I hope so. I’m going to talk to Brogan and Willow about it, see if they know anything that will help. Until then, I’m going to take my mind off it by beating some answers out of Falon. I want to have a little chat with Lilah, and he’s going to tell me how to find her.”
“I’m coming. I owe that smarmy angel a boot in the face. At the very least,” Jez proclaimed, frowning at the empty wine bottle. “Where do you keep the hard stuff?”
“No way.” I plucked the cigarette out of her hand and tossed it in the sink. “If you’re with me tonight, then there will be none of this. No drinking. No smoking.”
“But I—,”
“No, Jez. I know it’s easier to escape than it is to deal, but if you come, you need to have your shit together. Beat some ass now. Drown your sorrows later.”
She groaned and cast her eyes down to the floor. She was struggling to contain the rage and hurt that dominated her. It was difficult to refrain from responding to the strength of such emotion.
“Don’t feel like you need to do this,” I said.
“I can’t stay here brooding. I need to feel like I’m doing something to avenge Zoey. I can’t let Lilah get away with it.” With a hard set to Jez’s jaw, tears filled her bright green eyes, but they didn’t fall. When she met my gaze, the predator inside her peered out at me.
Jez was hungry for vengeance; Zoey’s death had broken her. Their relationship had meant more than I’d realized. They had only been together a couple months, but I understood how easily a bond could be forged. To have it broken so quickly had devastated her.
The doorbell rang, startling us both. I hadn’t left the house yet, and already I was jumpy. Anticipation for what I planned to do with my night had me on edge. I ran down the long hallway to the front door, pleasantly surprised to find Kylarai on the other side, but she didn’t look happy.
“Come on in.” I stood back. “I was just about to get