skips a beat when I see him.
He's here, he's here, I say excitedly to myself, but he doesn't know that I am here, and suddenly everything sinks to the pit of my stomach.
Dante’s here to pick up someone else.
He's not here for me, of course not.
Why would he be? I feel like a fool, and that's just fine.
I'm used to feeling this way around guys, but something about him ... Suddenly, I feel nauseated.
I watch him walk around the room.
First, he swivels on the chair to survey the perimeter. He looks at faces. He watches bodies. He assesses his options, and then he moves casually to the lounge, walking slowly enough to start up a conversation with someone, but not pausing for anyone in particular.
And then, almost as if he knows that I'm here, he narrows his gaze on my section of the room, the corner that I was so certain that he wouldn't be able to see me in.
"Jacqueline," he says, walking up to me.
I sit up in my seat and he sits down. I don't invite him.
"It's nice to see you again."
I give him a slight nod, but say nothing.
He takes a sip of his whiskey, swirls the amber colored liquid at the bottom of his glass, and then looks up at me again.
"I was hoping I'd see you here."
With my gold mask on my lap, I feel exposed, but in a good way.
"I thought that we weren't supposed to know who we are," I say, pointing to the mask in his hand.
He shrugs. "I don't see you hiding."
"Well, I am in the corner, some would argue the opposite."
"I can leave if you want," he says, his eyes laser-focused on mine.
He waits for me to answer, and finally I manage to mumble, "No, it's fine."
I have looked for him here and I've thought about him so much, but then to suddenly see him before me, present and interested, caught me off guard.
Music starts to thump louder on the dance floor and I glance over at the bodies pressing and grinding against each other. Somewhere in that mosh pit is Allison, looking for her couple.
She promised me that she would be my wing woman and she’d abandoned me as quickly as she could.
We watch everyone dance, and at the end of the song, Cassandra comes to the microphone. Her voice is as smooth as ever and she announces that the Masquerade Ball festivities will be starting soon. I have no idea what this means and I'm a little scared to find out, and that fear, it's not entirely excitement. It's real fear.
Dante continues to sit next to me, observing the room, but saying nothing and not even trying to make conversation, and suddenly I feel very comfortable in the silence. It's relaxing and it makes my anxiety diminish just a little bit.
The tone of the light changes and people part down the middle. Cassandra, in her long flowing white gown hugging tightly around her hips and giving her the curvy figure of a 1950s movie star, stands in the front and says, "We're going to play a little game."
The excited crowd lets out thunderous, ferocious yelps, and Cassandra licks her bright red lips in anticipation.
"You have all been assigned numbers and when we call your number, please come to the stage."
I force myself further into the corner. I hold my number so tightly, the little piece of paper that it’s on shrivels up into a scrap.
Suddenly, I get the feeling that the person who is least excited to be up there on stage is probably the one that's going to be chosen.
"2, 17, 33, 46," Cassandra reads out, holding a card in her hand.
The crowd breaks into applause and separates to let the people walk to the stage.
I see Allison in the crowd, right in front, and our eyes meet.
She waves me over.
I shake my head no.
"That's my friend," I tell Dante. "She's very excited to be here."
"Yeah, I can see that," he says, without making a move.
"Aren't you going to go up there for a better look?"
"Nope.” He shakes his head. "This is the only view I need."
He stares at me in a disarming kind of way. The stare becomes impossible to bear and I look away, but I still feel it on me.
It throws my body into a flash of heat.
When Cassandra lifts her finger and her diamond necklace moves slightly, framing perfect breasts just so, the room quiets down and the people on the stage turn