off my shoes or laptop because I have the pass, but the crowds and the early morning bleary eyes make me feel out of place and disconnected from myself.
I had a restless night's sleep.
I vowed to go back to Jacqueline, and I know I have to see her again, but how?
When I get to the gate, I take a seat next to the window and check my emails.
Nothing for work, just a personal one from Lincoln, inviting me to a party in a week's time. I don't really want to go, and I can always use work as an excuse.
I feel like I should. It might be good for me.
Besides, it’ll get me back to New York, and maybe I can meet up with Jacqueline again.
Paying her mother's medical bill was a no-brainer. The only thing that made it complicated was that the clinic was a lot more thorny than I thought they would be about an anonymous donation.
They wanted my name. They wanted to know why I was suddenly paying the bill, and I've gotten a number of calls from people higher and higher up in the organization asking me questions that I have no interest in answering.
I don't know how long it will take her to find out, but I've been checking her emails and texts to see if she told her friend Allison yet and she hasn't.
My phone rings and I see Cedar's name at the top.
He doesn't usually call any time before 9:00 a.m., and I can't help but get a little bit nervous.
"What do you think you're doing?" Cedar growls, even before I say hello.
"What are you talking about?"
“Vasko, the CEO who you just met with in Seattle, why did you tell him no?”
"Because he knew nothing about his business, and his financials were all off."
"That doesn't matter.”
I cock my head, not entirely sure that I heard him correctly.
"It doesn't matter?" I ask. Two women across from me lift their head away from their laptops and I lower my voice. "I'm at the airport now."
"I don't care where you are," Cedar snaps. "I got his application approved, and his financials make sense if you actually care to look at them. He told me that you walked out as soon as his CFO came in."
"Yes, I did, but-” I start to say but he cuts me off.
"That's not how we do business. You know that."
"Look, I have a responsibility to fifty-thousand of our angel investors to make the right decision."
"Yes, you do. You go there, you assess risks."
"And that's what I did," I insist. "And that's why I told him no."
“You don’t understand,” Cedar says. “You can’t tell him no.”
"People are going to lose money," I insist. "It's not a wise investment. He doesn't know anything about the markets that he wants to go into. He is clueless."
"I didn't get that sense when I talked to him.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he barrels over me.
"Look, you get this done, or I can find someone else to do your job for you,” he says and hangs up.
I stare at my phone, uncertain as to what just happened.
Why would Cedar suddenly get so involved?
Why would he care?
I mean, of course, he's my boss and he checks my work and he follows up, but he has always been very hands-off.
It was always clear to me that in this position, I'm the one who makes the decision about taking on certain risks, and Vasko wasn't even a close call.
I shake my head in disbelief, feeling even more annoyed and pissed off and agitated than I felt just a few minutes ago.
When they start to board my flight, I take a few deep breaths and try to calm myself down.
I'm going to get on the plane, it's going to be claustrophobic. There are going to be people right next to me, even though it's first class, and I've got to just shut it all out.
I pull out my noise canceling headphones and stick them on just as I flash my phone and allow the flight attendant to scan my ticket.
18
Jacqueline
When I meet up with Allison, I’m beaming, smiling so wide that my face actually hurts.
"What's up?" she asks when we put in our happy hour orders. "I have to go back to work after this. I can't believe how long this project is taking them."
"What do you mean? What's going on?" I ask.
"Just trying to come up with the marketing plan that will work for the client. We