went to the fridge.
I knew exactly how to make someone really freaking hungry. Bacon. "Torture by bacon?"
Snuggle Muffins just stared at me as I proceeded to grab a frying pan. In a few minutes the smell of bacon filled the kitchen.
I slid the deadbolt on the basement door and used the door as a giant fan to push all the greasy, bacony goodness down the stairs. Noah was probably salivating. I left the door completely open as I flipped the bacon. That comforting hiss accompanied the smell to perfection. Poor, sweet Noah. He had no idea that I wasn't going to even give him a bite.
I pulled the frying pan off the stove and slid the bacon onto a paper towel lined plate. "Are you allowed to eat this?" I asked and took a bite.
Snuggle Muffins blinked up at me so innocently.
"Promise you won't be sick?"
He wagged his tail. He hadn't looked this excited since he'd eaten half a Pop-Tart.
"You better be telling the truth." I tossed the bacon down to him and he caught it in his mouth.
I adjusted my wig and mask as he feasted. "This is going to be fun." I lifted Snuggle Muffins and the plate of bacon and made my way down into the basement.
Noah was wide awake, already being annoying and trying to yell even though he must have known I couldn't hear him through the gag. I placed Snuggle Muffins and the plate of bacon down before yanking the gag from his mouth.
"I have to piss! Jesus, you made me drink so much last night and didn't let me pee."
"Oh." Oopsie. I'd actually woken up in the middle of the night and had to pee again. Poor guy. "Not a problem. One sec."
"I'm seriously going to piss my pants."
"Calm down." What was he...five? Did five-year-olds pee their pants? I had no idea. I lifted up the litter box and brought it over to him. "Okay, let's get one of your hands untied."
"You seriously want me to go in that? I thought you were joking. You used it for the dog."
"His name is Snuggle Muffins. You know that. And what's wrong with sharing? It's fine. I'll scoop it when you're done."
He stared at me like I was insane.
I wasn't. And I didn't appreciate the way he was looking at me. I put my hand on my hip and stared right back.
"Just take me to the toilet," he said. "I won't try to run away, I swear."
"Nope." I untied one of his hands. "Lean over and pee in that like you did the bucket. And if you're lucky I won't tase you this time." I pulled my taser out from my back pocket and pointed it at him.
He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "I actually have to take a shit."
"Oh." I wasn't planning on keeping him here this long. And I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this. But I was technically prepared. "Fine." I untied his other hand. "Stand up."
He followed my instructions, his legs still tied tightly to the chair.
I wasn't scared of him trying to run. He'd either fall from the chair or from my taser. And he knew it. I moved the litter box to the seat of his chair and tossed a pack of diaper wipes at him. "Clean yourself up a bit with those while you're at it." The last thing I needed was for him to start smelling down here.
"Are you serious right now?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?" I lifted a piece of bacon and took a bite. "And make sure to use that little shovel thing to cover your business. I don't want to see it. Now strip." I waved my bacon-filled hand at him.
He started to unzip his pants. Instead of staring, I looked away. Last time had been bad. I didn't want him to make a mess again. Besides, I had a watchdog now. I looked over at Snuggle Muffins who was snuggled up to the light-up reindeer, sound asleep. What the hell, Snuggle Muffins? "Pst." I snapped my fingers and Snuggle Muffins opened one eye. "You're supposed to be the lookout."
He promptly closed his eyes again.
Son of a bitch. I laughed at my own joke. Snuggle Muffins was literally a son of a bitch. I'd never actually used that term of endearment appropriately before. I snuck one glance at Noah. He was crouched over the litter box with so much shame straining his perfect features.
I'm sorry. I looked down at the