It’ll feel good.”
“You’re welcome. Are you still mad?”
“Yes.” I sigh. “Just talk to me next time, okay? So I’m not blindsided?”
“That’s fair. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m hungry,” Kevin announces.
“I’ll make breakfast,” I reply. “How about pancakes and bacon?”
“With huckleberries?”
“Sure. You can help me flip them.”
“I wanna flip, too,” Kelsey says as the kids run for the kitchen.
“I need to get dressed before we flip pancakes,” I say to Sam and head for the bedroom. “Do you mind gathering the last of the trash?”
“Sure thing.”
I hurry back to quickly change, and then stop short.
There, on the bed, is a brand new robe and slippers on the floor.
Sam totally spoiled me for Christmas this year. I know I should stay miffed at him, but it’s impossible when he’s so generous.
And sexy, damn him.
I bury my face in the soft cashmere and breathe deeply before changing into clean leggings and a T-shirt, throwing my hair up in a knot before hurrying back out to the kitchen.
“Okay, pancakes with huckleberries, coming up.”
“And bacon,” Kevin reminds me. “Don’t forget the bacon.”
“That’s the most important piece,” I agree and kiss his head before opening the fridge to gather supplies. “Did you both have a good Christmas morning?”
“Yes,” they say in unison.
“I got almost everything on my list,” Kelsey says.
“Was something missing?” I ask her.
She shrugs her little shoulder and looks down. “I didn’t get to hug Mommy and Daddy today.”
And just like that, my heart shatters into a million pieces.
“I know.” I pull her to me and kiss her cheek. “I would love that, too. But they’re with us, in our hearts. And that’s the most important.”
“I’m really hungry,” Kevin says. “Can we eat?”
“Sure.” I set Kelsey down, who’s smiling once more, and reach for the eggs. “Let’s make breakfast.”
“When does he leave?” Aspen slides my coffee over the counter at Drips and wipes her hands on a towel as she watches me with sympathetic eyes.
“Two days.” I blow out a breath and will myself not to cry.
There will be plenty of opportunity for that after he’s gone.
“And when do you leave?” I ask her. “I know the family was just here through the holidays. It’s a new year, so I figure you’ll be getting ready to head back to London soon.”
“Next week.” She cringes. “Tash, if you want me to stay for a little while longer while you get used to the new normal—and let me just say that I hate that phrase—I will.”
“You have your own kids, a family, and duties that I can’t even fathom, Aspen. I’ll be fine.” I sound way more confident than I feel.
But it’s true. I’m going to be just fine.
“What do the kids think?”
I bite my lip and remember Kelsey’s big alligator tears when we told the kids the day after Christmas. “They don’t fully understand. Hell, I don’t fully understand, and I’m an adult, you know? It’s not like he’s dying. He’ll be home every other week, but all they know is that someone else they love and rely on is going away.”
“That’s so rough,” Aspen says. “Why don’t you tell Sam that you don’t want him to go? That it’s best for all of you if he stays?”
I shake my head with a sigh. “Aspen, I’m not going to be the reason that Sam doesn’t take his dream job. That’s a lot of pressure, and he’s worked hard for it. We’ll just have to make it work. It’ll suck at first, but we’ll figure it out.”
“You’ll find a groove,” she agrees. “And maybe you and the kids will end up moving with him at some point.”
I frown. “I’d thought of it, honestly. But the kids have already lost so much. I don’t think it’s fair to ask them to lose their entire community, as well. To pull them away from their friends and the adults they trust and lean on. I don’t have any sort of support system in Spokane to help me.”
“I get it. It’s a tough spot to be in.” Aspen wipes down the counter. “Vicki’s about to come in for the afternoon. Do you want to grab lunch or something?”
“I would love to, but I have to go to the attorney’s office before I pick up the kids from school.”
“Attorney?”
“Yeah. Sam and I had some new wills drawn up, just in case. We have the kids now, and we share custody. His job is scary.”
I shrug, and she nods in understanding. “It’s best to have that under control before