of tension in my gut drawing tighter with each crash of my hips. Alexis kisses me back with urgency.
There is nothing more peaceful than this—burying myself inside Alexis over and over again, feeling my balls tighten as my orgasm builds, our lips and tongues dancing a passionate tango. My kingdom for this moment, this perfect moment. Alexis will always be my undoing.
Alexis’ nails dig into my back. “I’m gonna …”
She trails off, but her pussy tells me the rest, clamping down hard on my cock as I piston in and out of her. A shudder goes down my spine. Alexis falls against the floor, limp. Her eyes are squeezed closed. Her juicy lips are parted.
I lift her hips and chase that golden sensation down, letting it fill me with liquid heat as I get closer, closer …
I come hard. My body shakes, teeth clacking together. Everything inside of me loosens, all my muscles relaxing against my bones, my breath pooling deep in my lungs. I fall onto my elbows, pressing my forehead against Alexis’. She smiles up at me, resting her palms against my cheeks.
Her eyes are limitless, like an infinite ocean. I can almost hear the waves hissing and roaring as I stare into them. My breaths even out.
I roll to the side and bundle Alexis against my chest, the floor chilling my hot skin.
“I think this will do,” Alexis says.
“What will do?”
She looks up at me, smiling. “The house.” Stretching her arms overhead, she adds, “It already feels like a home. How many bedrooms?”
“Five,” I reply.
She counts them on her fingers. “Our room, Harry’s room, an office, a guest bed, and …” She trails off, eyelashes fanning her cheeks. “And maybe another nursery?”
Another nursery. Another child.
I can’t help the smile that tugs my lips, and I pull Alexis closer and kiss her forehead.
“Whatever you want,” I tell her, even though I know that I do not deserve the beautiful life she is painting in her mind. Even though I fear that our future will be so much uglier than she expects. In this moment, I give over to the fantasy, and together, we dream.
27
Alexis
I set the phone down and rub my temples, the cheery pop music doing nothing for my mood. I feel like a rag doll being pulled on all sides, my seams stretching, threads fraying. I am one swift tug away from losing a limb.
But what can I do?
I kill the music and bathe in the silence instead. I know I have to get out of this chair soon, move away from the window and the view of the dewy, manicured lawn. I am going to see Clara this morning, but later …
Later it’s the dock meeting.
And I have to attend. My guilt is eating me up inside but I can’t skip it, not after the haranguing I just got from Debbie, not after seeing the death toll rise every day on the news. Her last words echo in my head.
Don’t fuck it up.
Simple. To the point. Efficient.
I have stumbled upon something important, and it’s my duty to the city and to the dead and to the dying to share my knowledge. I might be able to help stop the trade of purple heroin in its tracks. I could save lives.
But in doing so, I will lose the man that I love.
I let my head fall back against the chair and squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want to look at the beauty outside my window anymore. Doing so just reminds me of Gabriel. This mansion and its grounds are beautiful, but they are also twisted, just like him. Beneath the pristine marble flooring of the foyer there is a damp basement with bloodstained cement. Beneath Gabriel’s handsome exterior there is a darkness, one that beckons to me more and more with every day.
I keep trying to remember his role in this, to damn him for his crimes, but then he goes and does things like buying us a house. A perfect, beautiful house. One that’s just the right size for our family, without the hidden rooms and locked doors. It is a house I have never been dragged to, locked in, or stolen from. And I want it so deep in my bones that I am considering tossing my laptop into the Hudson River and forgetting I ever dreamed of the truth or making a difference.
But I can’t. I won’t. Even if the guilt eats me from the inside until there is nothing left of