memories, our hair peppered with gray, and we would reminisce about those early days when we were just getting to know each other as a family.
I drop Harry off with Jessica after Edie leaves, needing a little time to myself. The photo shoot has left me unexpectedly raw, and I escape to the patio at the back of the house with a thick wool blanket and snuggle up on one of the wicker loungers. The early afternoon sun gilds the leaves from the overhanging branches and makes the grass glow. The air buzzes with bees desperate to collect the last of the summer’s nectar before their big winter sleep.
The door opens and I look over, chest tightening as Gabriel walks out. I try to appear nonchalant.
“We got some good photos,” he remarks, striding over to me.
I lift my brows. “You’ve ignored me for days and now you’re engaging in small talk?”
Gabriel’s eyes sweep over me and I huddle tighter under the blanket. I’m not in the mood for whatever game he’s playing, and I’m hoping that he’ll take my prickly attitude as his cue to leave me to my thoughts.
He sits at my feet and stares off into the back garden. In profile I can see the little crook in his nose, the one imperfection on his otherwise perfect face.
“Maybe this could be real,” he says after a moment.
I blink. I am afraid to speak, as if any sudden movement will drive him back into his cave for good.
Gabriel looks at me and his hand rests on the blanket over my shin. “Is that what you want, Alexis?”
I nod slowly. “But if it’s going to be real, you need to let me in.”
Pebbles of guilt plunk into my stomach, one for every treacherous thought. I think of how badly I want to forget about the article entirely and just give myself over to Gabriel and to this life. I think of how I can’t, how I have to follow through with my search for the truth. I think about how much Gabriel is going to be hurt. Even if I manage to keep him out of the article, he will know that I have been secretly researching and writing it this whole time. And based on previous experience, I know he’s not going to like that.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” he says, stroking my leg through the blanket. “Can’t this just be enough for you? We can just be a family. Forget the past.”
“The past informs the present,” I say. “We can’t just forget it. And if we’re going to do this, I need to know the past. I need to know what’s planned for the future.”
A pained expression tugs his lips down, but he seems to be thinking it over. Gabriel has never trusted anyone outside of his organization before. I know that without him having to tell me. I also know that he has never trusted someone again after they have betrayed him, and while I wouldn’t consider my actions in the summer to be a direct betrayal as much as it was me trying to figure out what was best for my son, I know that he views it that way. If he chooses to trust me now, fully, and I break that … He will never trust anyone again.
But how much am I to blame when I am only trying to keep my son safe and do the right thing while navigating a world of criminals and danger?
Gabriel still hasn’t spoken, so I sit forward a little.
“Patrick Walsh was threatening you at the gala, wasn’t he?” I prompt.
Gabriel swipes his tongue over his lower lip and nods. “He has the same ridiculous affinity for theatrics his father did.”
Encouraged, I continue.
“Remember when you were telling me about your father’s plan to eradicate the Irish presence in the city?” I say. “You told me that you suspected the Irish had help, but that you didn’t know who from.”
His eyes flick to mine. I swallow, wondering if I am pushing too far.
What the hell. In for a penny, in for a pound.
“Did you ever find out who it was?” I ask.
Gabriel swallows. “Yeah.”
“Who was it?”
Gabriel grinds his teeth and I hold my breath in anticipation. Gabriel opens his mouth, then snaps it closed again.
“I have to go,” he says, rising to his feet.
“Gabriel, wait!” I snatch his hand as he starts to walk away, but he pulls, and his fingers slide through my grip. Gabriel disappears