crush the half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray as I sit bolt upright. The covers fall to my hips, revealing my bare chest as I recognize her.
“Lola, what the hell are you doing here?”
She drifts toward the bed. “You couldn’t sleep either, could you?”
“Suppose Rock or one of boys heard you come in here.”
“I was very quiet. Nobody heard me.” Her hands go to the knot under her breasts, untying it, and letting her blouse drop to the floor. And just like that, her glorious breasts are revealed to me. The look on her face is filled with need. The graceful sensuality of her body and the gripping beauty of her face are like drink to me, stirring up memories of previous nights we’ve shared, and hot desire courses through me.
She wiggles out of the rest of her clothing until she’s naked, standing there waiting for me to take what she’s offering.
I’m no idiot, so I flip the covers back and she climbs in. I roll us until I’m on top. Her arms loop around my neck, pulling my head to hers, but I resist for the moment. The feel of her body beneath me, her hot skin against mine has me hard and ready, but I need clarity first. My body arches above hers, and I still, searching her face, pooled in the blue-gray moonlight, trying to fathom her meaning without reading into it something that isn’t there.
“Tell me what this is, Lola. What are we doing, here?”
“No promises. Just now. Just this. I want you, however I can have you. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, I know that, and I don’t want to waste what time we have.”
Hot desire pounds through my veins. For one sane moment, I try to consider the consequences of this moment, but Lola clamps her legs around me, and I’m lost.
I sink into her, and sweet heat surrounds me. I begin to move, driving slowly at first, then ramping up. After that, its instinct that drives me, forging chains I know won’t be so easy to break.
We fuck hard, already starting to know what each other needs and wants, we both quickly climb to orgasm. When it happens, I’m staring intently into her eyes as we go over almost simultaneously. We coast down to earth together; our eyes locked the entire time, and finally collapse in a sweaty heap. After the fight earlier this evening, once is all I’ve got in me, and I think she knows it.
Her breathing settles as she lays half over me, her slim body feeling heavy.
“Are you sorry I came?” Her soft voice sounds vulnerable.
“Hell no.” I kiss the crown of her head.
“It was good, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. More than good.” My hand absently rubs her rounded ass cheek while I stare at the pattern of shadows on the ceiling, worrying about Rock and hurting her.
Her fingers run over a cord in my neck. “You aren’t tense anymore,” she observes. “We’ve both been doing too much thinking, lately, complication something that’s very simple. We want each other, for however long this lasts. Now that edginess and tension are all gone. And it was so easy, too.”
I know her body has taken it from me and given contentment, and its good to hear I’ve done the same for her.
I’m relaxed by all outwards appearances, but inside my head, my mind won’t rest. I know this is going to be difficult to navigate without damaging the fragile trust we’ve built and without destroying hearts.
She says she’s good with this, with no strings, but I know that can’t be entirely true.
And what about me? I pause to consider how this could work between us.
In the long periods of times I might not see her, I know I could find a willing woman to take the edge off my hunger. But sex can’t satisfy everything. And I know none of those other women I might find would ever satisfy me the way Lola does. I’m just not sure I’m ready to face what that really means, and how this all spins out. For a man that likes his freedom, and likes the road, I’m also a man of habits, one that doesn’t like change or anything that upsets the patterns I’ve arranged. I’ve had way too much of that in my youth.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything, making assumptions and seeing problems that haven’t arisen yet. Lola hasn’t asked for anything more than this night. It’s what she said.
Darko’s words spin through my head on a loop.