before.
My eyes rove over to the bar, and I spot my father and Darko at the end, their heads together in deep discussion. I don’t even think they noticed us walk in.
“Let’s get this over with, Princess,” Memphis whispers in my ear, taking my hand, and moving around me to lead me toward the bar and my father.
Memphis shoulders through the crowd, easily parting a path. Guys in the club twist to see me, and smile, lifting their chins.
“Hey, Lola. See you made it back,” Wildman says, giving me a chuck on the chin.
“See the Nomad did his job,” Critter replies.
“Hey, Memphis, how are you brother?” T-Bone asks. “Hope our little princess didn’t give you a hard time.”
Memphis, God love him, ignores the remark with a lift of his chin, and keeps moving, and then I’m standing before my father.
“Hey, Daddy.”
He’s hunched over his drink, Darko on the stool next to him. They both swivel to look at me.
My father’s eyes sweep over me, then he stands and clasps Memphis’s hand in one of those maneuvers that looks like they’re arm wrestling. Rock slaps his shoulder. “Thanks for bringing my daughter home.” Then Rock’s eyes cut to me, and he lifts his chin. “My office. Now.”
I hold my father’s gaze, but I can feel Memphis watching me. I lift my chin, refusing to be cowed.
Rock moves past Memphis, but looks over his shoulder at the prospect tending bar. “Get this man anything he wants, kid. It’s on the house.”
“Yes, sir.”
I turn, and follow my father to his office, but I can’t help myself from glancing back once to look at Memphis. He hasn’t moved, and his eyes are on me. I try to read his expression, but I’m swallowed up by the crowd, and lose sight of him. I turn, and follow Rock.
We walk down the hall to his office. The door closes behind me, and immediately it’s much quieter. I stand in the center of the room, and Rock moves around to his chair.
“Sit down.”
I sit, naturally following his orders. It’s ingrained in me. To do otherwise would be unthinkable.
“What the hell were you thinking? Running off like that without a Goddamn word.” He pulls a cigar out of a box and lights it, probably because he knows how much I hate the smelly things.
I wave my hand at the smoke. “Do you have to do that?”
“You didn’t ask my permission to take off to New Orleans, but you think I need your permission to smoke a damn cigar?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s hardly the same thing.”
“No, it’s not.” He takes another puff, then leans forward to tamp out the disgusting thing. His eyes connect with mine. “What you did was worse.”
“I’m a grown woman,” I remind him. “I hardly need my father’s permission anymore.”
“You do as long as you live in my house, Lola. Hell, you could have at least given me a heads up; let me know you were okay. I tore the fucking club apart looking for you; roused every brother from his bed.”
I arc a brow. “You thought I was in one of their beds?”
“Don’t look so fucking shocked. It’s not like you haven’t given me reason.”
I shift my gaze away, steeling myself to not be ashamed of any of it. I’ve acted out, more than I should have. But this is the most attention he’s given me in months. That’s what’s really shocking. “Why do you care all of a sudden?”
His fist pounds on the desk. “Quit. Don’t even go there, girl.” He points a finger at me. “I’ve cut you more slack than I ever should have.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
He runs a hand through his hair, and slumps back in his chair. “Baby girl, I know I haven’t given you the structure you’ve needed, haven’t been there for you emotionally, and all the rest. I’m sorry for that. It’s just been fucking hard.”
I look at my lap, not wanting him to see my eyes glazing with tears. “I know,” I whisper.
His chair creaks as he leans forward.
“Lola.”
I lift my eyes to see him with his elbows on the desk, and his hands folded in front of his face, his rough fingers laced, the big silver club ring on his right hand. I focus in on that, not the gold band he still wears on his left, proclaiming to all that he’s still not over my mother.
He dips his head, pressing his forehead to his hands.
In all my grief, I needed him. But I never