he said. “There won’t be room for him on the drive, though. He’ll have to park on the street.”
I wondered whether that was deliberate, whether he’d chosen to arrive later so that he wouldn’t have to park near the house. In case I looked closely at his car. In case I challenged him. But when Josh came bounding up the driveway, tanned after a few days in Brighton with his friends, that thought seemed impossible.
“I stopped off to get these,” he said, thrusting some flowers into my hand. He leaned down to kiss me. I stood very still, unable to put my arms around him as I usually would.
“Thanks.” I had no intention of keeping those flowers in my home. “I’ll find a vase.”
“Are you sure you don’t want the electronics?” asked Josh.
“I don’t want anything,” I said. “Take whatever you want. Anything that’s left is going to charity.”
He looked confused.
“I’m having a fresh start,” I said.
He nodded slowly, then went into the living room.
Martin and I stood in the hallway for a couple of moments. “I know what he was like,” he said gently. “Tom, I mean. Belinda told me all about him. She said she felt claustrophobic at the end of their marriage, as though she was locked in a very small room.”
I shuddered. I’d felt the same way at times.
“And I saw the way you were when he was there. At Josh’s birthday parties and at drop-offs. You were so different when we saw you on your own. You never seemed relaxed when you were together. Or not for the last few years, anyway. Belinda saw it as well. She was worried about you, and when you left him, well, we weren’t surprised.”
Tears swelled in my throat. “Can I speak to you?” I whispered. The door between the hallway and the living room was ajar and I couldn’t risk Josh overhearing.
Martin glanced at the door, then back at me. “Mind if I look around the garden?” he asked. “I might take some of those plants on the patio back with me if you don’t want them.”
We went outside and shut the kitchen door behind us. We sat on the bench on the patio, safe from anyone overhearing us.
“What is it?” he asked.
I gripped my hands tightly. I couldn’t tell him what had happened, how I felt responsible for Tom’s death but didn’t regret what I’d done. What did that make me?
Instead, I said, “It was nice of Tom to buy Josh a car. I hadn’t realized he’d passed his test until he came to see me at my flat.”
Martin looked confused. “Yes, he’s really enjoyed the freedom of being able to go wherever he wants.”
“I bet he never lets it out of his sight, does he?”
Martin laughed then. “He spends most of his spare time in it. Either driving around or polishing it.”
“I don’t suppose . . .” I grimaced. This was going to sound so odd. “I don’t suppose Tom ever borrowed it, did he?”
“Tom? Why would he borrow Josh’s car?”
I shook my head. “I just need to know whether he did.”
“Can’t you ask Josh?”
“No. I don’t want to do that.”
He looked surprised. “I’ll ask Belinda. She might know.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and moved a few yards away to speak to her. I heard him say, “I don’t know” a couple of times and then he looked at me and nodded. When the call ended he said, “I’d forgotten about that. Josh was away in London for a few days and Tom took it to the garage for a service. I was really busy with end-of-term stuff and hardly noticed Josh was away.”
“Do you remember exactly when he took it?”
“It was about a month ago. The middle of July. My school finished on the twentieth and it was before then. Josh’s school finished about ten days before.”
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I’d been followed home on the twelfth. That must have been when