I was relieved. They told me the baby was a boy, and I felt terrible about it. I think I was in shock when I went back to school in September. Some of it is a blur. There was a trial later, and Ethan went to prison for seven years for manslaughter. I never heard from him again, and his life must have been ruined by going to prison. We never wrote to each other, and I don’t know what happened to him. I always felt bad about it, him, the baby, the little girl, all of it. I put it all behind me, and a year later I met your father, and we got married after I graduated, and you know the rest of the story after that. But none of you knew the first part.” Claire’s eyes were wide as she listened.
“You were married before Dad?”
“For two months, because of an unwanted pregnancy. But it shows you that I did some foolish things too.”
“Did Dad know?”
“Of course. I told him before we got married. I wouldn’t have kept that a secret from him.”
“Why did you tell me, and why didn’t you tell us before?” Claire’s tone was accusatory more than sympathetic.
“I never thought you needed to know. Your father and I agreed that you didn’t. But your grandmother thought I owed it to you to humble myself. I’m not as perfect as you may think and I pretend.”
“This is different. Reed and I are in love,” she said stubbornly, but Kate could see that she was shaken by the story. “Why did you tell me? Are you suggesting I go out and get in an accident to get rid of the baby?” she said cruelly, and Kate felt like she’d been punched in the stomach and looked it.
“I told you because I’ve been foolish too, and I thought you deserved to know that. Maybe you didn’t though if that’s all you can say.” Claire looked embarrassed when Kate stood up. It had been hard enough to tell her and dredge up old history, she didn’t deserve the reaction she’d gotten.
“Are you going to tell that to the others?”
“I will,” she said simply, and Claire walked to the door, looking pensive, and then looked back at her mother.
“I’m sorry, Mom. That must have been hard for you to go through.” It was the first sign of humanity Kate had seen from Claire since the whole mess had started about her pregnancy.
“It was hard,” she said coolly. Claire had just disappointed her again. Their relationship had taken some hard hits in the past few days. Kate wondered if they’d recover from them, or if her family was starting to disintegrate. It was possible, no matter how hard she’d worked on it for years and how much she loved them.
Claire left and Kate called her mother to tell her she’d done it, told Claire the story of her first marriage.
“How was she about it?”
“Not very nice,” Kate said, sounding exhausted. She hated to remember it herself. It had been a sad painful time in her life that had forced her to grow up.
“Give her some time to think about it. She’s going through a lot right now too. That was a big dose of some heavy information about you.” She hesitated for a moment and then went on, “Did you tell her about her father?” Margaret asked.
“No, I didn’t, and I’m not going to. Some things they don’t need to know, and never will.” Kate sounded tense when she answered.
“It would only be fair to you, if they knew.”
“It doesn’t matter now. He’s dead.”
“But you’re not. They’re adults, Kate. They need to know who you are and what you’ve been through. That’s a heavy burden for you. They’re too old for secrets now.” Kate thanked her mother and got off the phone. What her mother was referring to was the one secret she intended to keep. For them, and for their father.
Chapter 6
As July progressed, Anthony felt as though he was being driven to the edge of sanity by his double life. All he wanted was to be with Alicia, but he had to go home to Amanda at some point every night, and he felt dizzy every time he faced her. He was waiting for one of them to find out, and finally he knew he had to do something about it. He wanted to be honest with Alicia. He genuinely loved her and didn’t want to