you ask me.’ Shak cringed as he saw Gabrielle and Kerry coming towards the table.
James realised that everyone at the surrounding tables was watching as Kerry closed in. He thought she might take a swing at him with her tray, but she settled calmly in the seat next to him.
‘Hello James,’ Kerry said, as she took her fork and used it to stab a roast potato. ‘Hello Dana.’
Everything went quiet for a moment and James realised that the pressure was on him to speak.
‘Kerry, I’m really sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings …’
‘Really.’ Kerry spoke calmly, but swept her hair off her face like she always did when she was angry. ‘So how long were you going to carry on with Dana behind my back before you bothered to tell me?’
‘It wasn’t like that, I swear,’ James said. ‘I never laid a finger on Dana until last night.’
‘At least have the decency to be honest,’ Kerry said. ‘I’m sick of you anyway, the bitch is welcome to have you.’
A couple of whoops went up from Lauren’s table.
‘Hey,’ Dana said indignantly. ‘For what it’s worth, James happens to be telling the truth. And I don’t appreciate being called a bitch.’
‘Well, bitch,’ Kerry snapped. ‘I don’t care if you like it and to be frank, I don’t believe one single word out of your lying bitch mouth.’
‘Why don’t you both calm down?’ James said.
But Dana jumped to her feet. ‘The only reason James dumped you is because he begged you for help and you sat on your skinny little I’m so good arse and watched Eastenders instead.’
‘I heard what happened,’ Kerry snorted. ‘You lucked out, as per usual. It’s a miracle that you didn’t both get expelled.’
‘Yeah,’ Dana shouted. ‘Looks like we’re wearing the black shirts that show how stupid we are.’
Kerry’s hand squelched into her trifle bowl. ‘Here’s what I think of your precious black shirt.’
James watched as a mixture of chocolate custard and cream splattered against Dana’s shirt.
‘Oh that’s real mature, little girl.’
‘Have some more,’ Kerry screamed. ‘Cheating BITCH!’
James tried to muster a smile. ‘Seriously girls, I’m not worth fighting over.’
‘I know you’re not,’ Kerry snarled. ‘But you both went behind my back and made me look like a fool.’
‘No we didn’t,’ Dana insisted. ‘That’s just some stupid rumour Lauren started.’
‘What was I supposed to think?’ Lauren shouted from the next table.
‘Stay out of this, Lauren,’ Kerry yelled. ‘Haven’t you caused enough trouble already?’
‘Me?’ Lauren gasped. ‘What did I do?’
James looked up at Kerry. ‘What are you having a go at my sister for? I’m the one you’re pissed at.’
‘Don’t give me that smug little look, James.’ And Kerry threw the last of her trifle in his face.
‘Two can play at that game,’ Dana said, as she lunged towards Kerry with her palm covered in trifle. The palm hit the crown of Kerry’s head, but the trifle splattered everywhere and hit James and Gabrielle too.
‘For god’s sake,’ Gabrielle shouted, ‘this stuff never comes out!’
James found himself trapped between Kerry and Dana as they tried grabbing each other around the neck. He fell backwards out of his chair, clattering into Bethany and smearing her top with a blob of cream.
‘Careful, moron!’
Gabrielle hadn’t picked trifle, so she threw her lump of hot jam sponge at Dana. It shattered into about fifteen different pieces, showering Bruce and Shak.
Annoyed about the greasy cream stuck to one of her best tops, Bethany stuck her fingers in her trifle bowl and flicked a lump at James.
‘I’m sick of you always having a go at my brother,’ Lauren shouted, as she threw a gravy-sodden slice of roast beef in Bethany’s face. ‘Your brother’s a bigger dick than James and I always put up with him.’
‘Oi,’ Jake shouted. ‘I heard that.’
At the same moment, Bruce yelped because he had a blob of Gabrielle’s hot jam burning his bare foot and he was in no position to reach down and rub it off. But he got revenge by aiming a spoon laden with mashed-up peas and carrots at Gabrielle’s head. Unfortunately, it flew past Gabrielle and hit the neck of a girl sitting two tables across.
A couple of little red-shirts sitting nearby had decided throwing food looked like fun and joined in. As Dana and Kerry continued trying to strangle each other, Dana got hold of the large water jug in the middle of their table and swung it towards Kerry’s head. Water sprayed several metres, soaking kids at the surrounding tables.
And then the shout