he squints at me in suspicion. Guess I shouldn’t have smirked. A beep sounds from the kitchen.
“Your ass better be in bed in one minute,” Niall growls then heads to the kitchen.
Despite the pain gnawing on my skull, I’m in bed within thirty seconds. Niall arrives soon after with a tray. On it are two bowls of delicious smelling beef stew, two glasses of water, and two cups of chocolate pudding. He sets it down and then joins me on the bed.
“Thanks,” I say.
A grunt, which is better than a growl. We eat in silence and each bite revives me. I scrape the sides of the cup with my spoon, trying to get every last bit of pudding.
“There’s more,” Niall says. He takes the tray and returns with another pudding cup.
My hero.
He sits on the edge of the bed while I suck it down. It doesn’t take me long. Gotta love a sugar rush. But he’s still uncharacteristically quiet.
“Are you mad about Beau and I?” I finally ask. “That wasn’t anything. I was sick and he—”
“I know. No. I’m just worried.”
Not what I expected. “About me and Beau?”
“No. Although at first…” He shakes his head. “No. About you.” Niall stares off into the distance. “Remember when I said you reminded me of a comet?”
“Yes.” Now I’m worried. Where is he going with this?
“I’m afraid you’re too much like a comet. Burning so bright, doing impossible things, going full speed. I’m worried you’ll burn out or crash. You’ve no sense of self-preservation. You’ll give your all until you collapse.”
Considering what happened today, it’s hard to argue with that last comment. But… “I’m not suicidal. I have a good sense of self-preservation.”
“Okay, tell me one example where you didn’t risk your life for someone else or risk your health to accomplish something.”
I search through my memories. There has to be a time. “Ah ha! There was a rodeemian spider in my room on Planet Wu’an. Those suckers are deadly and I called my dad to take care of it.” Knowing my dad, he captured it and tossed it outside the base.
“That doesn’t count.”
“I think it should.” Rodeemians are hairy, hand-sized, horrible little monsters. I shudder.
“How about just in the last two-hundred and thirty-three days?” he asks.
Basically since I’ve known him. Okay fine. I sort through all that has happened, and can’t find an example. “That’s not fair. Lots has happened in those two-hundred and thirty-three days.”
He waits.
“Okay you made your point. What else am I supposed to do? I’m a security officer. Isn’t that part of the job? Menz died saving my life.”
“You did it before you were an officer.”
“Then that means I’m doing what I’m supposed to.” Huh. Never thought of it in that way before. “What’s really bothering you?”
Niall runs his fingers through his hair, leaving behind little spikes. “The plan to open another pit and portal. You’re going to charge right on in and go through that portal. I just know it and I’m going to lose you forever. Like…” His fingers curl into fists. “My mom.”
The last two words were almost a whisper. His grief is so raw, it’s like sandpaper scraping across my heart. Oh, Niall. I scooch in close behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. Pressing my cheek against his, I say, “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m doing too much, going too fast. I’m…scared and I just want all this with Jarren and the shadow-blobs to be gone so we can just…be. I will be more careful and more considerate in the future.”
He twists and pulls me forward. I end up in his lap, facing him. Niall hugs me, pressing me against his chest. “Thank you.”
His embrace is warm and comforting. I close my eyes, breathing in his scent.
“My mom…died nine hundred and eighty three Actual days ago. Before we headed to Xinji, the ship stopped at Planet Omikron to deliver supplies and drop off passengers. She went planetside with my dad to, as she liked to say, ‘refresh her creative batteries.’” He clears his throat. “There was an…incident at the port.” Every muscle in Niall’s body tenses. “A guy with colony fever demanded the shuttle pilot take him to the ship. Of course the pilot refused so he grabbed a little boy. Threatened to kill him. Mom was behind them and, according to Dad, she didn’t hesitate. She tackled the guy, knocking the boy away. But the guy had a knife and he stabbed her in the leg. Son of a bitch