there’s that chance of going catatonic. Maybe I am catatonic! And all this is just happening in my mind.
Trying not to panic, I press my fingers on one of my deeper cuts. Pain spreads. It’s a relief until I think— No. I need to stop thinking or I’m going to go crazy. Instead I focus on the conversation and dodge the questioning looks from my mother. She didn’t say anything when Radcliff explained I fell asleep on Niall’s couch, but, if I know her—and I do—she’s just waiting to have a private word with me.
After dinner, Niall and I are sent to bed like we are a pair of misbehaving teenagers. Different beds of course. Radcliff uses the doctor’s orders excuse for Niall and I’m just nagged until I relent. My mom follows me into my room for—you guessed it—a girl talk. We sit on the bed and I set the record straight about how everyone has jumped to the wrong conclusion—because they have even if they didn’t say so aloud. But I endure the lecture and pay attention to my birth control options. What else can I do? My mom has my best interests at heart and this talk is more for her than me. Huh. I must be maturing.
When she finishes, I say, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. Anything. You know that.”
I do, but this is personal. “When was your first time?”
She hesitates. Perhaps anything doesn’t really mean anything. But then she straightens. “I was twenty and it was with your father. I’d like to tell you that we made an informed decision and used protection, but we were drunk.” She laughs. It’s almost a giggle.
My mother giggling? Wonders never cease!
“We lucked out or your brother would have been born five years before we were ready.”
I can’t imagine Mom not being anything other than a confident parental authority. Being drunk? Irresponsible? No. Not going there.
“Your father and I waited until we got to know each other and were in love. I think that’s important. Do you love Niall?”
Do I? We’ve only been dating fifty-four days, but I think of him a lot, I’d rather be with him than anyone else, and he’s in all my future plans. Not that I have a set course of action except to survive Jarren and the shadow-blobs. I’m hopeful that I’ll have a happily ever after and Niall will still be by my side. Is that love?
“You don’t have to answer that,” Mom says after a lengthy silence. She gives me a gentle hug, being careful not to inflame my injuries. She pulls the blanket up to my chin and kisses my forehead. “Don’t give me that look. You’re never too old to be tucked in.”
True. Plus I secretly enjoy being tucked in all safe and secure, but I’ll never tell Mom that—well, maybe when I’m older. She leaves and turns off the lights and I lie there remembering the afternoon with Niall. Too bad we fell asleep as I would have loved to make him shiver again. And more. I unleash my creativity, imagining many ways to accomplish that.
I drift to sleep, dreaming of kissing Niall. We’re on his couch. After a while he stops and stands, holding out his hands. Come on, Dream Niall says, grasping my wrists and tugging me to my feet. Let’s fly.
And then we soar through the Q-net, dipping and twirling and racing across the Galaxy. I’m surrounded by softness—safe and secure, all tucked in.
Thank you for protecting me, I say, but Niall is no longer with me. I’m addressing the Q-net and it…understands. So while I’m in this crazy dream state, I ask it to let Officer Radcliff know if anyone tries to worm into our protections. It agrees. Or I think the warm pulse inside my chest is agreement.
Through the Q-net, I zip back to Planet Yulin. The security measures we’ve woven surround the planet like a bubble. But there should be connections to DES branching off it like tentacles. Beyond our measures is a black balloon that encases the planet—it’s Jarren’s web of programs. It’s blocking us from reaching DES. The answer to our problem is to pierce Jarren’s balloon without popping it and connect to DES. Difficult to do from the surface of the planet. Could DES create a connection to us? Perhaps if they were aware of the problem.
In my dreams, I fly to DES and navigate through their security like a river through the mountains. It’s fun and