some cologne I also know she loves, and dress in a T-shirt, jeans, and boots.
As I pull into the parking lot, the thought of seeing her has my heart hammering in my chest. I wish things weren’t like this, and we could go back to the way we were, but it feels impossible now. My life has changed indefinitely, and all I can do is take it one day at a time.
When I walk in, she’s smiling and talking to George, and that pretty grin immediately fades when she sees me.
“Well, hello to you too, beautiful,” I say, sitting at the end of the bar.
Kenzie walks up, wearing a cheesy grin. “Hey, stranger. Where ya been?”
I lift an eyebrow at her. “What’s up with the act?”
She leans closer. “Rowan said she doesn’t want to talk to you, so I’ll be helping you tonight.”
“Seriously?” I can tell Kenzie has this all figured out, but she doesn’t say anything. Damn, maybe we’re more transparent than either one of us thought. “Rowan!” I yell across the bar. “Hey!” I wave, making a scene.
“Go away, Diesel,” she says before turning around and going to the office. I let out a huff.
“Told ya,” Kenzie gloats. “Want your usual?”
“I guess.” Within a few seconds, she pops the cap off a Bud and sets it in front of me. I try to pay attention to the preseason football game on the TV screen, but it’s so hard to focus when the woman I’m in love with is dead set on erasing our existence together. I order another beer and wait around until closing time. Rowan peeks around to see if I’m still at the end of the bar and rolls her eyes when I smile at her. I feel as if we’re back to square one, right where we were when she moved home in May. There’s no way she could so easily forget everything we shared together. I refuse to accept that one bit.
Kenzie finishes cleaning, and I close out my tab, tipping her nicely for putting up with me all night. She tells Rowan she’s leaving and smiles before walking out. Rowan comes from the office and looks at me.
“You need to leave,” she says, and I can tell she’s not playing around.
“No can do. You’ll be here alone.” I just look at her, taking the final sip of my beer. “Are you gonna ignore me for the rest of my life?”
“That’s the plan,” she snaps.
“Row,” I whisper.
“Don’t call me that.”
I stand and walk around the bar until I’m mere inches from her. Resting my hands on her shoulders, I stare into her beautiful brown eyes. She tucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and I want nothing more than to pluck it from her teeth.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I tell her, gently lifting her chin. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
She lets out a ragged breath, and it causes my heart to race. Without hesitation, I lean forward and gently slide my lips against hers. Instead of fighting it like I thought she would, or pulling away, she sinks into me. Our tongues twist as the kiss deepens, and I feel as if the world has tilted on its axis.
Rowan grabs the hem of my T-shirt, and we’re so goddamn ravenous for one another, by the time she pulls away, we’re breathless. She places her fingers on her swollen lips, and I swallow as I move loose strands of hair from her face. “I know you’re scared, and you think walkin’ away from me is the right thing to do, but it feels so fucking wrong.”
“Diesel…”
“I’m not letting you go without a fight, Row. Never.”
It’s been a few days since I kissed Rowan at the bar, but it was all the encouragement I needed to know that not all is lost. She kissed me back without a fight, which means I still have a chance with her.
After work, I send her a text, telling her I’m coming to the bar, and she sends me a thumbs-up emoji in response. Not quite the attention I was aiming for, but it’s better than her ignoring me completely.
She’s started responding and has been supportive for the most part, though she’s still guarded. I have hope that once she realizes Chelsea and I have nothing between us other than my son, we can move forward. At least that’s what I keep telling myself while taking it one day at a time.
I walk in, and she tries