remain silent.
“You’re always holding me at a distance. What are you so afraid of?”
I have to gulp down the nerves bubbling up in my throat, threatening to choke the life out of me.
He’s right. I am afraid. I’ve always assumed that if I held the mask firmly in place, he would never figure out my secret. But he sees right through me.
“Tell me, Demi.” The world around us falls away. “Tell me what you’re so afraid of.”
“You.” The admittance is a relief. It’s been there, simmering beneath the surface for years. I never realized until now how much effort it took to keep it buried deep inside where it couldn’t see the light of day.
His lips quirk as if he doesn’t believe me. “You can’t possibly be afraid of me. You’re the most fearless person I know.”
Laughter gurgles up in my throat.
How can he say that?
Maybe that’s how it appears on the outside, but that’s not how I feel deep inside. I’ve always been scared of making a mistake and fucking up. Of embarrassing my father. Or taking a chance and giving my heart to someone who will crush it. When it comes down to it, I’m a puddle of insecurities. It might not be how I project myself to the world, but it’s still the way I feel. Maybe I’m just better at faking it than other people.
He strokes his fingers through my hair, and it’s so tempting to close my eyes and lean into him. When he touches me like this, all the noise buzzing around in my brain goes strangely silent. It’s an addictive sensation.
“Rowan?” The husky way his name escapes from my lips sounds nothing like me.
His gaze flicks to mine. “Yeah?”
“What’s happening here?”
Tension ratchets up until it reaches a fever pitch and becomes almost too much to withstand.
“Something I’ve wanted for a long time.”
Before I can suck in a lungful of air, his hand slides from my face to the back of my head. His fingers splay wide across my skull, cradling it in his palm. As if in slow motion, he drags me forward. My heartbeat stalls as his lips slant across mine. First one way before tilting his head the other. We fit perfectly. There are no awkward angles. No bumping of noses, mouths, or teeth. He caresses my top lip before nibbling at the bottom. A groan builds in my chest.
When I can’t stand another moment of this sweet torture, his tongue darts out to lick at the seam of my lips. There’s only so much of the gentle yet demanding touch I can take before I capitulate, opening under the firm pressure. As soon as I give in, his tongue delves inside to tangle with my own.
I expect his exploration to turn aggressive. Like a triumphant hero who has thrashed his opponent. Instead, his movements remain measured. Slow and languid. As if Rowan wants to take his sweet damn time to savor every single part of me. Within a heartbeat, I lose myself in the drugging caress. I don’t realize my arms have snaked around his neck until I’m pulling him closer. With a groan, he tightens his hold, pressing my body against his.
“You taste so damn good,” he mutters before dragging me to the bottom of the ocean where rational thought becomes impossible. The only thing I’m aware of is the way his mouth coasts over mine.
Everything about Rowan’s touch is masterful and sexy. I totally get why the girls on campus clamor for his attention. If he screws anything like he kisses—
That thought is like a bucket of frigid water dumped over my libido.
What the hell am I doing?
Rowan is even more of a manwhore than Justin. Barely have I extracted myself from one shitty situation only to fling myself headfirst into another.
No. I’m smarter than this.
Correction...I’m usually smarter than this.
Even though breaking physical contact is the last thing I want, my palms settle against the steely strength of his chest before pushing until our lips part, and there is enough distance between us for logic to once again rush in.
By this point, we’re both winded. Like we’ve run a marathon. I have no idea how much time I’ve spent wrapped up in his arms. It could be hours or mere minutes. And I would be lying through my teeth if I didn’t admit that everything inside me is screaming to feel the soft slide of his lips over mine again. Never have I been kissed quite so thoroughly.