Thad said as he approached us.
I touched my chest. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
I glanced up at Marco, who looked just as surprised.
“Okay,” Marco said, then helped me get through the red tape of arranging a visitation.
Once I was set to go in, he turned back to Thad. “Don’t go anywhere, okay? I’m going to walk Carly back, and then I’m coming right back out.”
He nodded, looking dejected.
Marco took me through the security door and down a hall, his hand at the small of my back. He stopped outside a door, where another deputy stood waiting.
“I’ll be in the hall with Thad.”
“If his dad—”
“I’ll protect him.”
I nodded, then turned to the deputy at the door. He opened it without comment and let me in.
Pam was sitting on one side of a short desk, behind a large sheet of plexiglass. The fluorescent lights gave her a deathly pallor.
I sat down in the chair opposite her and picked up the phone on the wall, and she picked up the receiver on her side.
“Thank you for meetin’ with me,” she said.
“Of course.” I sucked in a breath, hoping I didn’t break down. I couldn’t imagine being a mother and finding out that someone I had trusted, someone I had actively encouraged to help my son, had betrayed him in the worst possible way. What would I be capable of?
“Thad said he told you.”
I nodded and cleared my throat. “I don’t think he meant to tell me. It just spilled out.”
“He’s been through so much. His daddy won’t help him.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re in here, but if Thad tells the sheriff’s department what happened—”
Her eyes flew wide. “No. He can’t tell anyone.”
“But Pam,” I protested. “Your sentence could be reduced.”
She shook her head and took a breath. “No. It will ruin Thad. Ruin him. It won’t matter that he’s the victim. People will call him gay.”
“But Pam,” I said, lowering my voice. “He is gay.”
She shook her head. “No. He’s just confused, and that animal made it worse.”
My heart broke a little more for him. Pam loved her son enough to kill for him but not enough to accept him for who he was. But it wasn’t my place to convince her, nor did I think I could.
She lifted her chin and held my gaze. “Thad told me that you helped Ashlynn too.”
“I was just so surprised by the news is all,” I said. “I knew you wouldn’t have hurt someone for no reason, and I wanted to find a way to help you.”
“There’s no helpin’ me now,” she said, wiping her face with a tissue. “But I need to make sure my kids are okay.” She looked up at me. “Will you keep track of ’em? Rob kicked Ashy out, and if Thad gets it into his fool head to tell him he thinks he likes boys…” She inhaled sharply. “He might kick him out too. I don’t know where he would go.”
“He told me he and Spencer tried to kill themselves,” I said. “Did he get help from anyone other than Jim Palmer?”
Her chin shook. “No.”
“I’ll talk to Selena and see if she’ll arrange for him to see a counselor who won’t take advantage of him.”
“You must think I’m stupid,” she said, starting to cry.
“No, I think you were a mother who put your trust in someone who was supposed to be trustworthy.”
“It doesn’t matter if I was stupid or not. He still hurt my son.”
“I know.”
“I realize I’m supposed to be sorry for killin’ him, but I’d do it again. And again.”
I wasn’t surprised that she felt that way, but the fury in her eyes made her look feral.
“Thad said you walked in on them,” I said carefully. “But you weren’t sure of what you saw at first. I found out that Melinda put their house on the market around the same time. Did you talk to her?”
She shifted in her seat. “I called Jim that night to give him a chance to explain, but Melinda answered. I asked her if her husband typically fondled young boys when he was counseling them. She hung up on me, but I heard a couple of days later that their house was up for sale. Cowards.”
Which meant Melinda had known, and instead of turning her husband in, she’d chosen to run and let him molest other people’s children. I felt like I was going to be sick.
“Are you sure you won’t change your mind about Thad goin’ to the sheriff?”
Anger filled her eyes. “You leave my son