and vanilla that wafted from her body. It lingered on the gown in my hands, and I couldn’t help but imagine what she might have looked like in her room alone at night, wearing nothing but this sheer white cloth. The sight seemed much more appealing than the ugly brown frock my mother made her wear daily.
I snapped to suddenly, unsure of what the hell I was doing or why I was doing it. Smelling this ingrate’s gown like some sentimental madman. I threw it down to the ground and stomped on it out of sight. Just as I was about to stomp out of the room, something caught my attention. The top dresser drawer was slightly open, and I couldn’t resist peeking inside.
Mixed in with the folded underwear was a colored scarf, and rolled up inside was a wad of cash. I roughly estimated how much it was by the weight of it, and quickly gathered it must have been all of her wages from her time here. That strange feeling from before came creeping back again. Guilt or whatever it was. Ingrate or not, she had been her to perform a service. Whether she did it well or not, she was paid this money fair and square. But after all that, she was sent off in a hurry without all of her wages. And somehow...it felt like my fault.
Never wrong, I reminded myself. I was never wrong. I stuck the money in my pocket and huffed out of the room. As I flung open the door, a maid startled at my sudden appearance in the hallway. She stared at me in shock, cutting her eyes to the room over my shoulder, likely puzzling over what I was doing in there.
“Have this cleaned at once!” I barked coldly.
“Yes sir!” she stammered back nervously before running off.
I sulked off to the garden to sit alone. I didn’t like the feeling of her room being cleaned out. I ran my hand over her money sitting in my pocket. I would give it back to her if I could. That seemed only fair. And maybe it would make this terrible feeling that was plaguing me go away.
But Lucia was gone, and she was too smart to ever show back up here again. I guess I wouldn’t either if I was her, though that was a hard thing for me to imagine. A lowly caretaker. Ha. Even if I hadn’t been born into such a wealthy, prominent family, I would have never settled for such a pathetic place in life.
Since she was gone for good...I would have no way to return the money. No way to ease my guilt. Ah well, I thought. At least I cared enough to even consider how I might make amends or...whatever it was I was trying to do.
But that wasn’t quite it. It wasn’t just about returning the money or making myself feel better. I would never see her again, and that fact bothered me more than I would have liked. A great deal more. I could only hope that some other hot cook or caretaker would be hired in one of their places. Someone new for me to avert my attention to. Maybe she wouldn’t be so stuck up and prudish for me to have a little affair with.
That was the most annoying part about Lucia. She wasn’t all smiley and giggly and easy like the other female staff that fawned over me and my cousins. No, Lucia was stone cold and quiet. She kept her head down and focused on her work, or at least pretended to while I was breathing down her neck. For all my provocations, she wouldn’t give in to an inch of flirting. She never gave into much of anything at all. She didn’t even back down from my threats or arguments.
It was all really annoying the more I thought about it. So, good. I was glad she was gone. I idly picked up a few nearby sticks from my bench and chucked them across the garden lawn.
“Good riddance!” I shouted as they flew through the air.
I imagined each one was Lucia, flying away like a bird being chased with a gun. I thought it would make me feel better, maybe even laugh a little. But it only seemed to darken my spirits even more.
I slumped down in my seat and looked around with a bitter expression. One of the gardeners was standing nearby frozen with an empty water can in