own reward. It only proves what I’ve been so intent on denying—not only to him but to myself. Sex with Colton has always been explosive. Addictive. All-consuming. Whether I realized it or not, Colton has been the measuring stick I used against every guy I’ve been with. And they’ve always come up sadly lacking.
At this very moment, with all these emotions careening around inside me, it seems foolish that I ever thought I could move on from him so easily. Or that I could somehow will it with my mind.
His fingers tighten around the sides of my skull as I draw him in so deep that he nudges the back of my throat. The lines of tension filling his face ease, leaving behind pure bliss in its place.
Me.
I’m the one capable of making him forget. I’m the one who is able to wipe away all the anguish that plagues him.
Instead of feathering his eyes closed and tilting his head back, so he can savor the pleasure, his gaze stays pinned to mine as if he doesn’t want to miss a single moment. As if he’s singeing this experience into his memory for all eternity.
“I love the way you suck my cock. There’s nothing hotter than watching it disappear between your lips.”
A punch of arousal slams into me full force, and my panties flood with heat. No one has ever turned me on like he does. His erection grows unbearably hard. When his muscles tighten and his fingers dig into my scalp, I know he’s hovering at the edge of his release.
“I’m going to cum,” he groans.
The admission only spurs on my movements. My mouth turns voracious as I draw him deeper until the crown of his cock hits the back of my throat. Until I’m able to reach the root of him. It takes every bit of concentration not to gag.
“Fuck.”
And then he’s exploding. I drink down the hot spurts, milking him until his body loosens, and his thick length turns slack in my mouth. It’s only then that I release him and nuzzle the velvety tip with my lips. His hands loosen, sliding from my hair to beneath my arms as he drags me off my knees and to my feet. His lips descend in a hungry kiss that is both possessive and consuming before he spins us around and walks us backward. Before I realize what’s happening, my back hits the bed, and he’s falling on top of me, pinning me to the mattress.
“Do you have any idea how much I want you?” His mouth roves from my lips to my chin before descending. “I always have. Even when I forced you away, I wanted you. You’re the only girl who has ever scared me.”
His words circle viciously through my head as I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. Knowing everything I do, the confession now makes perfect sense. More than a year and a half ago, I admitted my feelings for him, and he shoved me away, terrified of being hurt again.
Colton spreads my thighs wide before settling between them and peppering soft caresses against me as he continues to mutter. I’m not sure if he realizes the secrets he’s so intent on spilling.
“I have no idea what you see in me, baby. I really don’t.”
When his tongue darts inside my heat, I suck in a shuddering breath.
“I never wanted you to get so close. I never wanted you to matter. I fought against it for as long as I could.”
He spreads my lower lips with his thumbs. Cool air hits my core as the velvety softness of his tongue swirls intently around my clit. This man knows exactly how to touch me. It’s only been a handful of moments, and already I’m perched at the precipice. Every stroke is deliberate. He understands what will shatter me into a million broken pieces.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” he whispers. My ears prick, trying to catch the words as pleasure continues to wash over me. “How could you love me when my own mother wasn’t able to?”
Heartache spears through the pleasure unfolding inside me, jerking me back from the ledge. It’s almost as if Colton realizes that his words are counterproductive to what he’s trying to achieve. With renewed efforts, he attacks my flesh, pushing me relentlessly when I’d prefer to stop and hold him close, soothing the pain that resides deep inside him. Grief he barely acknowledges to himself and never to me. But he refuses