The Bookstore on the Beach - Brenda Novak Page 0,153
I have to live my truth. I think you need the same advice.”
“But your father—”
“He’s already lost you, hasn’t he? In all the ways that count?”
When tears welled up in her mother’s eyes, Taylor felt like crying, too. “If Quinn makes you happy, you owe it to yourself to grab hold of that happiness,” she said and walked away. If her mother followed her to the car and then went back to Tampa, Taylor told herself she’d let it go. At least she’d said her piece. She couldn’t push Autumn any further. Even though what she said was true, she felt too guilty supporting a divorce.
But her mother didn’t come. When Taylor reached the car, she looked back to see Autumn staring after her. And a second later, she pivoted and walked right back to the grave.
* * *
Almost everyone had left the cemetery. As Autumn returned, she could see Mike off to one side, speaking to Jimmy Pollard, the young pastor who’d performed the services. And she could see Quinn staring down at his mother’s casket as if he couldn’t quite believe she was gone.
He looked so forlorn. Watching Beth go through all those treatments and then pass away in spite of how brutal they were must’ve been a nightmare, and yet he’d shouldered it all so well. Gave up his job and moved home to help them. Supported them any way he could.
Autumn had walked through the line and offered her condolences to him and his father earlier, just like everyone else at the funeral, but when Quinn had greeted her, he hadn’t even taken her hand. He’d merely nodded and thanked her politely. Then he’d looked to the next person in line.
She hated that he was suffering. The fact that she couldn’t even breathe when she thought she might be part of the cause was how she knew that she couldn’t allow it to continue. Taylor was right. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to make herself love Nick, how long she forced herself to stay in Tampa, their marriage wasn’t going to work.
Because her heart was right here with Quinn, in Sable Beach.
Mike spotted her first. He mumbled something to Quinn as he walked past him on the way to his truck, which he climbed into and then waited.
She started to approach Quinn, but he shook his head. “Don’t,” he said without looking up. “It’ll only make this harder.”
She stopped. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I know. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just the way things are, and I need to accept it. But having you back, wishing I could pull you into my arms, that’s—that’s twisting me up inside. I’m not strong enough. Not today.”
She knew the ramifications of what she was about to do would be big. Taylor understood. Caden might, too. But she and Nick would have to figure out how to split their assets and share their children. She didn’t want to do that. But if she couldn’t love Nick, was she really doing him any favors by staying with him?
Ignoring what Quinn had said, she approached him, anyway.
“Autumn,” he warned, his voice a bit rougher. “Stop. Go away.”
“I won’t stop,” she said. “And I won’t go away. Because I can’t.”
He watched her warily as she drew closer. “What do you want from me?”
“I want everything from you,” she said simply. “But I’m willing to give you everything I have in return.”
He seemed doubly uncertain. “What are you saying?”
She took hold of his hand and drew it to her cheek. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. That’s what I’m saying. And I can’t quit loving you no matter how hard I try. So I’m coming back, and I’m never going to leave you again.”
His mouth fell open. “And Nick?”
“I’ll have to tell him the truth, too.”
“That you want me. That you’ve come back to me, and you’re staying.”
“Yes. Exactly that.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and she thought she saw the sparkle of tears in his eyes just before he gathered her in his arms and buried his face in her hair. “We’ll make it as easy as possible on everyone,” he said when he could speak.
“Yes, we will. But what we want matters, too.” She leaned back to look up into his face. “Do you think we can still get our house?”
He laughed as he held her tightly again. “I don’t care where we live, as long as I’ve got you.”