sixth formers brushed past me in the hallway and jumped back, screaming ‘Rape!’
Hilarious, je don’t think.
NB: There were only two rapes reported in Guernsey during the whole of the German Occupation. That might be a sign that the Germans were incredibly well behaved. But it might also mean the female population were pushovers. Mud sticks, apparently.
‘Some people think you made it up to get back at Mr Mac for giving you bad grades.’
That’s what Vicky told me.
We were filing into Double English and I was asking her what I’d missed. I was actually referring to homework. ‘I don’t care what people are saying,’ I replied. ‘If Mr McCracken’s innocent then why did he resign? He must’ve done something wrong to just give up his job. Honestly, Vick, do the Maths. Nobody’s who you think they are.’
She opened and shut her mouth, like a goldfish catching flies.
‘So you mean you and him, for real?’
‘Not a chance,’ said Lisa, pushing past me with her bony elbow. ‘I wouldn’t trust her version of anything. All the stories she comes out with . . .’
I smiled my best fake smile. ‘At least my stories have a point to them.’
The classroom was filling up and I caught sight of Nic standing behind Lisa. Her expression was still and serious, like one of the waxworks of German soldiers in the Occupation Museum (although in fact those waxworks look like their faces are melting). I was expecting her to say something bitchy and smirk, but she didn’t. She just stared at me.
I can’t pretend I didn’t feel a weeny bit smug. There I was, a dark/Trojan horse, crammed full of dangerous secrets. I was seriously tempted to give everyone a news-flash update vis-à-vis Therese and Mr McCracken. It was bound to come out some time and I could’ve shut them up for good. But when I looked at Nic I realised what was at stake. It wasn’t that I was scared of her. If anything, I felt sorry for her. I didn’t want all my cretinous classmates knowing her business. Yes, Mr Mac was a guilty sleaze, but maybe it was better to let them think he’d been a guilty sleaze with me. Not with Nic’s own mother.
I hope this is proof that: (1) I’m not all bad and (2) I’m growing up.
Of course, growing up is not necessarily a good thing. The older you get the more lies you tell. Just think about all the lies Therese must’ve told. People were shocked when Mr McCracken stood beside her at Nic’s funeral. She looked lovely, though. She’d had her roots done specially, and she was as brown as a nut. That was probably what shocked everyone the most.
I hope they get married and stay together for ever. I hope it wasn’t just a silly affair. I’ve kept their secret for them all this time, so they’d better make it worth my effort.
But it’s hard to know what secrets should stay secret, and here’s another good example.
It was the most important day of Dad’s life. We’d arrived an hour early at White Rock, and we were all dressed up like it was a party. It was a lovely spring day and I felt so proud. I stupidly imagined that I’d finally see Dad happy once he had the Memorial in place. I remember looking around at all these people and thinking they were clapping for him as he stepped up to the microphone. He was wearing a dark blue suit – I think it was the suit he’d married Mum in. I looked at her and smiled. That’s when it all went wrong. Dad never normally read from notes but he pulled some crumpled papers from his jacket pocket. Then he started speaking, but he slurred and stumbled over his words and he was swaying like he’d fall right over. People started murmuring and I had to grip Mum’s hand. When a man in the crowd told Dad to speak up he glared back. Suddenly he turned and lurched down from the platform. Everyone was talking and I wanted to go after him, but Mum held onto me. I don’t remember her saying anything to anyone about blood-sugar, but apparently she did, when people asked her what was wrong. Oh well. Maybe I heard it, maybe I didn’t. That only came out later, after he was dead.
Dad was Diabetic. Mum said it might’ve come on because of the Occupation, if he was undernourished as a baby. Her and