true evil,” Téllez muttered.
“Well, what’s done is done,” my father nodded. “Now we must be on our way.”
“I can never thank you enough, old friend,” Téllez said and embraced my father warmly, then he embraced and kissed Ultima.
“Adiós.”
“Adiós.” We climbed into the truck and drove away, leaving Téllez standing by the dying embers of the fire. The bouncing lights of the truck cut a jerky path through the night as we traveled out of the dark llano back to Guadalupe. My father rolled a Bull Durham cigarette and smoked. The fatigue of the day and the humming sound of the tires on the highway made me sleep. I do not remember my father carrying me in when we arrived home.
In my dreams that night I did not recall the strange events that happened on the Agua Negra, instead I saw my three brothers. They were three dark figures driven to wander by the wild sea-blood in their veins. Shrouded in a sea-mist they walked the streets of a foreign city.
Toni-eeeeee, they called in the night fantasy. Tony-reel-ooooo! Where are you?
Here, I answered, here by the river!
The brown swirling waters lapped at my feet, and the monotonous chirping of the grillos as they sang in the trees mixed into a music which I felt in the roots of my soul.
Oooooo Tony… they cried with such a mournful sound that I felt a chill in my heart… Help us, Toni-eeeeee. Give us, grant us rest from this sea-blood!
I have no magic power to help you, I cried back.
I carefully marked where the churning waters eddied into a pool. There the catfish would lurk, greedy for meat. From my disemboweled brothers I took three warm livers and baited my hook.
But you have the power of the church, you are the boy-priest! they cried. Or choose from the power of the golden carp or the magic of your Ultima. Grant us rest!
They cried in such pain for release that I took their livers from the hook and cast them into the raging, muddy waters of the River of the Carp.
Then they rested, and I rested.
Veintiuno
The days grew warmer and the Blue Lake opened for swimming, but Cico and I avoided the glistening, naked boys who dared the deep-blue power of the lake. Instead we worked our way around the teeming lake and towards the creek. It was time for the arrival of the golden carp!
“He will come today,” Cico whispered, “the white sun is just right.” He pointed up at the dazzling sky. Around us the earth seemed to groan as it grew green. We had waited many days, but today we were sure he would come. We crawled through the green thicket and sat by the edge of the pond. Around us sang the chorus of insects which had just worked their way out of winter nests and cocoons.
While we waited time flowed through me and filled me with many thoughts. I was still concerned with the silence of God at communion. Every Saturday since Easter I had gone to confession, and every Sunday morning I went to the railing and took communion. I prepared my body and my thoughts for receiving God, but there was no communication from Him. Sometimes, in moments of great anxiety and disappointment, I wondered if God was alive anymore, or if He ever had been. He had not been able to cure my uncle Lucas or free the Téllez family from their curse, and He had not been able to save Lupito or Narciso. And yet, He had the right to send you to hell or heaven when you died.
“It doesn’t seem right—” I said aloud.
“What?” Cico asked.
“God.”
“Yeah,” he agreed.
“Then why do you go to church?” I asked.
“My mother believes—” he answered, “I go to please her—”
“I used to think everyone believed in God,” I said.
“There are many gods,” Cico whispered, “gods of beauty and magic, gods of the garden, gods in our own backyards—but we go off to foreign countries to find new ones, we reach to the stars to find new ones—”
“Why don’t we tell others of the golden carp?” I asked.
“They would kill him,” Cico whispered. “The god of the church is a jealous god; he cannot live in peace with other gods. He would instruct his priests to kill the golden carp—”
“What if I become a priest, like my mother wants me to—”
“You have to choose, Tony,” Cico said, “you have to choose between the god of the church, or the beauty that