not wounded, he tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. “It’s not that I didn’t want to be here,” he said gruffly. “I did. But I also needed a place to call my own.”
“And you made a wonderful one.” His grandmother’s eyes misted over. “It’s me who wanted something different. I wanted you home for the holidays—all of you—because when you’re here, I feel like I’m keeping you safe. You and your brothers are everything to me. Sometimes, an old woman lets her feelings get the better of her.”
“Nobody can possibly blame you for that.” Gabe reached over and took her hand. “After the way we lost my parents, it’s perfectly understandable.”
Grandmother shook her head. “What’s not understandable is how blind I was to your unhappiness. I did this to you. I’m at least partially responsible because I didn’t understand the real you. And all those years and all those girlfriends, I thought they didn’t understand you, either. That’s why I disapproved of them. Not because I thought they weren’t good enough for you—any of them could have been your wife. But I didn’t get the sense they loved you for who you really were. But all along, I didn’t understand either.”
“What about Anna?”
She let out a short laugh. “I like Anna. She made you happy, and you’ve been so desperately unhappy since she left. She seemed to genuinely care about you, flaws and all.”
“I’m in love with her,” he said wretchedly. “But I don’t know what to do.”
“What would she tell you to do?”
Anna had her own issues with family, but she hadn’t let that stop her from moving on with her life. She’d risen from the ashes of a family that had sorely disappointed her, to become a success. And more than that, she understood what it was like to have that nagging sense she didn’t fit in.
But she hadn’t let that stop her, had she? Not in her job, where she approached every meeting with the confidence of a CEO. And not in life, where she was always up for an adventure. Anna had come here with him and jumped into their little game with both feet.
“What are you thinking, Gabe?” His grandmother squeezed his hand.
“I’m thinking of the time we made you those cookies. They were so strange looking, but they tasted so good. But all I could focus on was how weird they looked.”
“They were delicious,” his grandmother agreed.
“We were happy,” he admitted. “While we made them. Everything with Anna was like embarking on a mission. Getting the ingredients turned into a major trip into town, and then she took me through all the steps of making the cookies. She knew you would like them, and she just—she was so enthusiastic. It was impossible not to be excited when I was with her, no matter what happened afterward.”
“Would she tell you to get back in the kitchen?”
“I don’t know about that.” Heartache slashed across his chest. “She knew I wasn’t very good at baking.”
“And yet she also knew how determined you can be.” He met his grandmother’s eyes, and she smiled at him—a soft, tired smile. “She knew how determined we all can be, and she put her own twist on it. That’s the thing about women like Anna. They’re kind, but they forge ahead and make changes.”
She had made changes. In Gabe. In the Elkin family. Anna had stood her ground when it came to her own boundaries, and she’d stepped up to help them in a crisis, and she had been there, every time he asked her to be.
She’d held his hand.
She’d kissed him.
They’d done so much more.
Even if they’d intended it to be fake, it had taken on its own reality. But Gabe hadn’t been able to step into it. Not entirely anyway, because he’d been too concerned with what his family might think. He’d been waiting for disapproval and it hadn’t come. His grandmother was sitting here right now, telling him she liked Anna.
And what did it matter if they disapproved? Gabe had spent so many years bracing for that uncomfortable feeling of not being a real part of the family—bracing for it, and then letting it take him over. He hadn’t been able to see what was right in front of his face because of his fixation on what he wasn’t within the Elkin family.
Anna had seen it. Seen all the love between them, even with the ridiculous standards and the way they tiptoed around talking about deep