that I’ll catch you up. I’m hoping to see her for a minute, and I’m thinking of a reason to speak to her. I’ve reached the stage—everyone else is leaving and Mia is following! I have to say something, to hold her back … I swallow. The words aren’t coming. She’s gone. Missed my chance.
HALLWAY. LATER THAT AFTERNOON.
Heading to the final class of the day, with a pang of excitement I see Mia leaving her room and coming toward me. With the hallway emptying, here’s a chance to make up for earlier! My heart beats faster. I look casually at the notice boards lining the walls until I’m ready to make eye contact. She’s adjusting the shoulder of her ruched purple shirt. We’re about to pass, I have this one moment to speak. We draw even, she looks up and smiles.
ME
Hi—
She returns the greeting expectantly, smiling for another moment—and we continue on our way! My tone seems to hang in the air as I stare blankly down the hall. It sounded like a question, like I was going to go on, a precursor to something interesting, but there it stayed. Embarrassingly incomplete. Somehow, she even compromises my ability to say hello right! This has never happened to me before. I’ve never been shy to talk to anyone. I used to ask our sexy history teacher to write everything on the board so we could whoop at his sculpted butt when he turned around. But this? It’s all I can do to stop from banging my head against the wall. As I head into English, I try to convince myself of the possibility that she thinks I’m intriguingly enigmatic, and not a moron.
SCHOOL STEPS. AFTER SCHOOL. THE NEXT DAY.
In front of school, I’m sitting pigeon-toed with my chin on my knees, gazing at my shoes. You’re a step down, probably a second away from smacking me on the head and telling me to snap out of it. I know I’m not the best company right now but at least I’m not regaling you with my conquests like Grace, a girl in our year, three steps down. Apparently, she thinks Mr. Marsden, the new art teacher, is smoking hot. Me? I feel blue. This new feeling is depressing. Every time I see Mia, I can feel myself slipping further into my admiration of her. I should dig in my heels, make it stop. Maybe I’ll just head home and shake it off. A hand on my thigh, and I’m sandwiched between Ryan and Tony. I can think of a lot of places I’d rather be sandwiched. Like between a rock and a hard place. It’s Ryan’s hand on my thigh. I sweep it off like a crumb.
RYAN
Hey, Phyre. You look hot.
I can never tell a real compliment from sparkling humor so I make a face. Ryan keeps going.
How can a hot girl like you be such an ice queen?
ME
(Rising silently above it)
RYAN
Give Tony a chance. He likes you.
I turn to Tony. His knee has come through his jeans so the bottom of his pant leg is hanging on by a thread. He’d look stupid if it fell off. Stupid and cool are linked by a thread!
ME
Can you give me a good reason to go out with you?
This takes Tony by surprise. You’re smiling, bouncing your eyes back and forth between us as he puzzles this one out. He’s as good-looking as any guy in the year, better than most, but if he can’t look me in the eye and make me feel something, then what’s the point? Right? I pull at the rip in his jeans with my finger, shaking my head with playful disapproval.
ME
Care about yourself and people will care about you!
A home ec joke, and a quote from Mrs. Kook, our home ec teacher. Kook is not her real name but it’s the only one I’ve ever called her. Everyone laughs, even Tony, but I can tell I embarrassed him. I wonder for a second why I’m being mean. I gaze past him and, with a leap of my heart, see Mia leaving school. I stand up impulsively.
ME
It’s been fun, guys, but I have things to do.
Ryan is leaning back on the step like I may find him too irresistible to leave. I’ll manage. I swing my bag over my shoulder and give you a look to say that you can come if you like. In a few steps you catch up and start walking with me toward the gate.
YOU
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