didn’t even hold him, didn’t commiserate with him about the loss of our child. I didn’t think about him at all.”
Ember’s words had more impact because of how simple they were. “I think he’ll understand that because he wasn’t thinking about you either; or rather, he was thinking more about how the news affected him. But it’s not too late.”
Darcy shut off the lights and moved into her bedroom after Ember left. After she got ready for bed she climbed under her covers and tried for sleep, but her mind remained restless. She was angry with Lucien for his reaction to the news about their baby, but it was his intensity that she loved. How could she hold what she loved most about him against him? When she fell asleep, she dreamt of him.
Fourteen years earlier . . .
She didn’t hear him enter the common room until his hand wrapped around hers and he pulled her from it. He didn’t say a word, but led her up to the attic. The door had barely closed behind her before his mouth was on hers. There was a wildness about him that left Darcy breathless and unimaginably turned on. He lifted her shirt up over her head and flicked off her bra a second before his mouth closed over her breast. Her jeans followed her shirt and then he was dragging her onto the floor, spreading her legs, and taking her into his mouth. His tongue was almost brutal as he penetrated her, and then his fingers replaced his tongue while he moved to flick the sensitive nub, teasing her until he worked her up to an orgasm that bordered on violent. Her body was still coming down when he stood and walked to the far side of the attic.
She felt exposed and vulnerable and though she wouldn’t call it rape, there had been more to their lovemaking than love. Before she could say anything, his anguished voice filled the awkward silence.
“I’m sorry.”
“What was that all about?”
He linked his fingers behind his head and she watched as he struggled to lift his gaze to hers. “I was thinking about you and I don’t know. I’m constantly walking the line of insanity when it comes to you. It’s about more than sex and even love: I need you. It scares the shit out of me that I could lose you like I did Sister Anne. I didn’t mean to . . .” He turned from her. “I just needed you.”
She stood and moved to him, her hands coming to rest on his back. “I’m here.”
“Fuck. I practically raped you.”
She forced him to face her. “It could never be rape with you. It was just slightly out of control.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Never apologize for loving me.” Her fingers gripped his shirt and lifted it over his head. “Even when you’re slightly out of control, I love every second.” He was so tense and she knew of a way to relax him, but she had never done it before. Even so, she hoped that he couldn’t see how badly her hands were shaking when she unbuttoned his jeans and moved his pants and briefs down his legs. She kneeled in front of him and looked up to see his eyes burning hot, but she saw guilt there too: that she would offer something so intimate after he had been so out of control with her.
“I want to,” was all she said. Her eyes never left his as she took him into her mouth.
“Darcy, oh God . . .” His words ended on a groan as she sucked him deep into her throat. Her hands sought the hard curve of his ass as she worked him. He wasn’t the one out of control this time as was evident when he moved from her and lowered himself to kneel on the floor, pulling her down with him. Their eyes were locked when she straddled his hips and took him deep inside her. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his hands cradled her ass.
The words came from her heart. “You and me always.”
Her words hit their mark and he started to move her up and down his hard shaft. Their eyes never left each other and when she came, he was right there with her. He wrapped her in his arms and held her so close.
“Always. Remember that, Darcy.”
Trace stood in the doorway of the office and watched as Ember taped paint swatches to the wall. Rafe had helped