this soon in a relationship seems…irresponsible? Maybe not irresponsible, but definitely not like the “normal” thing to do. However, on the other side of the beach, I know I want to be with him…for…well…forever, so is planting the seeds for our own family at this point in time really that farfetched? And, I know, Ax wants kids someday. We discussed it last week when he got the clean bill of health from his doctor’s visit.
All of a sudden, the front door opens exposing us to Harrison, who hasn’t been home since we arrived in town this morning. He adjusts the leather bag on his shoulder, shuts the door behind him, and smirks wide. “And…what exactly am I walking in on?”
“Catching turkey!” Harris enthusiastically shouts at his father.
“We…have…a turkey in the house?”
I start to reply when Autumn squeaks, “It gobble!”
Her father’s eyes widen as they meet mine in dire need of an explanation.
“We’re pretending to catch a turkey.” His slow nod of understanding has me adding, “Uncle Scott is the turkey, and we’ve gotta find him and catch him.”
“You mean cook?”
“No,” I politely reply. “I mean catch him, so we can free him back into the wild. I’m not comfortable teaching your children the principles of hunting and killing animals – real or pretend.”
Harrison hums his respect over my answer before inquiring, “And, where is my wife? Is she playing this fun, festive game, too?”
“She’s…” My face scrunches during its struggle for the correct sentence structuring. When I realize I can’t fathom an answer that doesn’t have me feeling like a bitch, I simply point the direction of the nearest set of stairs where she’s sitting with a glass of wine in one hand and her phone in the other.
“I’m taking pictures!” She intoxicatingly squeals. “And videos!”
“Of course, you are,” he mutters louder than I’m sure he intended.
“Anty Book,” Autumn impatiently tugs my arm. “Where turkey?!”
She’s called me “Anty Book” the entire time I’ve been here, and no one, self, included has corrected her. Truthfully? I get the feeling that Ax doesn’t want her to ever think anything any different and that her mother is too drunk to care.
Perhaps I’m just being hopeful about the Ax part.
I’ll ask later.
The smile I offer her is sweet and soft. “We gotta keep looking.”
“Let’s go!” Harris insists at the same time he begins to pull me forward.
“Hey! What about me?” Harrison pipes up. “Can I join the hunt?”
His son excitedly nods. “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”
I give him a pointed look and chastising tone, “No killing.”
Harrison lightly snickers as he shucks off his suit jacket. “Got it. No killing my little brother.”
“Turkey!” the kids proclaim in unison.
We wait for Harrison to ditch his work items in his nearby office before we resume our search for Ax. The themed game of hide and go seek is unquestionably more extensive than I ever experienced as a kid. While a million-dollar home may be amazing for pretty much everything your wildest dreams could conjure up, it is not ideal for the ones doing the seeking even if it is for the one doing the hiding. Autumn and Harris take turns tossing back covers and opening closet doors with me, intentionally, leading them wrong on the occasion to hear their laughter resume or redirect their attention from giving up. We practice the art of tiptoeing, sharpen our whispering skills, and sing silly songs I make up on the spot. The experience reminds me of when Rina was younger and loved me, rather than older and on the verge of loathing me.
Putting down boundaries and rules with her has not been easy.
She pouts and whines and complains how I’m a terrible sister for abandoning her in her “time of need”, but I’ve been doing my best to stop buckling so hard under the tantrum tyranny. I’ve stopped just handing her large amounts of cash when she swears she needs it and started suggesting places that are hiring. I won’t let her crash on our couch for weeks and weeks like I’ve spent most of life doing. No. She gets two nights at most and then she has to find somewhere else to sleep, which tends to be our parents’ house, somewhere she hates because they have rules for living there regardless of her age. Resentment is noticeably growing, yet I’m doing everything in my power to stay strong. To believe Ax when he says she’ll only be mad now but love me for this in the long swim.
Sunshine and seashells, I