just want you to know we’re so sorry about what happened,” Pete said. “How is Nicki?”
“She’s fine. She’ll have a tiny little scar that will all but disappear when she gets older. She’s being released this morning. I’m getting ready to go and get her and my wife. How about Hannah? Is she okay?”
I had an impulse to turn triumphantly to Pete and say, See? Instead, I said, “She feels pretty terrible.”
“I was afraid of that,” Jim said. “When I was in fifth grade, I accidentally hit a kid in the head with a baseball bat. It ended up that he was all right, but man! I had some sleepless nights.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his billfold. “I never paid her.”
“It’s all right,” I said, and felt Pete lightly touch my arm. He thought I should take it for her.
“I’d like her to have it,” Jim said. “And I’d like you to tell her that almost the first thing Nicki said when I saw her is that she’d like to have Hannah sit again. Up until the time of the accident, they were having a great time. Hannah helped Nicki make a coat for her doll, and she and Tyler made a picture using popcorn kernels. He’s got it on his wall.”
“I’ll tell her,” I said.
“If we don’t call her right away, it’s because we do have a regular sitter—”
“I understand.”
Pete rose and offered his hand to Jim. “I know you must be eager to go. Thanks so much for understanding. I really appreciate it.”
“It’s fine, Pete. Let’s go out for a beer soon.”
When we walked back home, I said, “That’s the kind of compassion I would have hoped for from my mother.”
“He’s had a day to get used to it, Laura. And he had a doctor tell him his daughter was going to be fine. He didn’t see her standing there screaming with blood all over her.”
I said nothing until we arrived home. When we came into the kitchen, my mother was at the stove, fussing with something in a frying pan. “I’m serving Hannah breakfast in bed,” she said.
Pete looked at me. “I’m going to the store and catch up on some paperwork,” he said. Meaning, It’s all yours.
I sat at the table, watching my mother. It was still familiar to me, the movement of her back in a robe, fixing breakfast at a stove. I knew precisely how high she would hold the spatula, how briskly she would scramble the eggs. “Hannah’s up already?” I asked.
“She is. I heard her calling for you, and I—”
“I’ll be right back.” I went up into Hannah’s room and found her leaning back against her pillows, reading a book.
“Hey.” I sat beside her.
She marked her place, put the book down. “Where were you?”
“Dad and I went to talk to Mr. Pearson.” Her expression changed, and I said, “Don’t worry, he’s fine. And Nicki’s fine too—she’s coming home today, and she’ll have a very, very small scar that will end up disappearing completely. And you know what she wants?”
“What?” She wouldn’t look at me.
“She wants you to babysit again. She really liked you. And Mr. Pearson did too. He sent over the money you earned.”
She looked up, her eyes full of tears. “I don’t want it. And I don’t ever want to babysit again.”
“Oh, Hannah. I know how bad you feel, honey. I really do. But if you never babysit again, you’ll deprive a lot of kids of some really wonderful experiences. It was an accident. Nobody blames you. In fact, Jim told us about a kid he once hit accidentally with a baseball bat!”
Half a smile. “Really?”
“Yes!”
“Was he okay?”
“Yes! He was!”
“Well, I think I’ll wait awhile. But I’ll tell Mr. and Mrs. Pearson I’m sorry. I’ll write them a note.”
“Okay.” I kissed her forehead. “So you’re having breakfast in bed, are you?”
“Yeah, I woke Grandma up but she was really nice. She said she’d make me breakfast. And she said she was sorry for yelling at me.”
“Did she? Well, I’m glad she did.” I waited for a moment, then said, “Hannah? I’m going to take Grandma home today.”
“You are?”
“Uh-huh. I think I’ll drive her back.”
“Does she want to go home?”
I stood and straightened Hannah’s covers. “Yeah, I think she’s probably ready to go back. It’s hard to be away from home for too long. You know.”
“But . . . she said she wished she could live here.”
“When? When did she say that?”
Hannah tilted her head, looked deeply