you seek a mistress."
"You are also impossible, my adorable young wife."
"Acb so why do we go through this nonsense?"
"I've told you time and time again. The Briiderschaft, there is only the Brtiderschaft!"
"Politics so bore me."
"We'll see each other in Stuttgart. By the way, I bought you, the diamond necklace you saw at Tiffany's."
"You're a darling! I shall be the envy of every woman in Munich!"
"Vaclabruck, my dear. Munich only on weekends."
"Boring!"
Arnold Argossy, radio and television impresario of the hysteria prone ultraconservative wing of American political thought, squeezed his enormous frame into the inadequate chair at the studio table. He put on his earphones and looked over at the tinted glass panel, beyond which were his producer and the various technicians who caused the familiar high-pitched, grating voice, so beloved of his constituency, to be heard across the land. The once staggering number of his listeners had begun to fall off, insulted perhaps, by his singularly vicious attacks on anything and everything he considered liberal! without his offering any coherent alternatives to the programs he attacked. The gradual decline in his ratings had done nothing to diminish his ego; instead, he held on to his decreasing audience by ever-increasing assaults on LibboCommies, Female-Fascists, Embryo-Killers, Homeless Suckers and assorted labels that eventually had to turn off even the vast "patient, stable majority" who began to question his diatribes.
The red light flashed. ON AIR.
"Hello, America, you true red blooded sons and daughters of giants who carved a nation out of a land of savages and made it sweet.
It's AA. talking, and this afternoon I want to hear from you! The honest, hardworking people of this great land that's been soiled and spoiled by the sex-ridden, religion-bashing, morality-blasting, sick sycophants who run our government while running away with your money. Hear the latest, my friends! There's a bill before Congress that would permit our taxes to pay for obligatory sex education, specifically targeting innercity youths.
Can you believe Our cold cash squandered away on a hot topic, our dollars to fund, at the least, a million condoms a day so the rootless offspring of the lazy and the indolent can fornicate at the drop of a-no, I can't say it, for this is a family program. We spread the morality of our God; we do not pander to the base, savage hungers of Lucifer, the archangel of hell.. .. What is the solution to this promiscuous madness? It's so obvious, I can hear you shouting the answer, Sterilization, my friends! Benign denial of procreation by lust, for lust is not married love. Lust is the nonselective appetite of animals, and no amount of so-called sexual education can cure it, it can only cause it to proliferate! .. . Now, you know and I know who we're talking about, don't we? Oh, yes? I can hear the liberal chorus shouting racism! But I ask you, my friends, is it racist to inaugurate programs that without the slightest doubt can benefit the very people who are being debased by their promiscuity? I think not. What do you think?"
"Whippo!" cried the first caller.
"I got nuthin' against nobody, but I betcha if we paid every black person on welfare twenty-five thousand bucks to go back to Africa and start his own tribe, they'd grab it in a shot. I even figured it out. It'd be cheaper, right?"
"We cannot condone migration through bribery, sir, it's unconstitutional. But in a word, yowsah! Next, please."
"I'm calling from New York City, AA." lower West Side, and let me tell you, the Cuban-Spic cooking's stinking up the whole apartment house, and I can't read the signs on the stores no more.
Can't we get rid of Castro and send 'em back where they belong?"
"We also can't condone ethnic slurs, sir, but disregarding the unfortunate epithet you attached to a nationality, you do have a point. Write your senators and congressmen and ask why we haven't sent in a hit team to assassinate the Commie dictator. What else is left?"
"Double whippo, AA.! The senators and congressmen, they gotta listen to us, don't they?"
"They certainly do, my friend."
"Great! .. . Who are they?"
"The post office has that information. Next caller for the Argossy Argonaut, please."
"Good evening, mein Herr, I'm calling from Munich, Germany, where it is evening. We listen to you on the Religion of the World Broadcast, and we thank God they bring you to us. Also, we thank you for everything you've done for us!
"Who the hell is this?" said A covering the mirgossy, crop