at me. My breath catches.
She's... smiling?
It's such a simple gesture. It probably doesn't mean anything, either. And yet, my chest wells up with joy. Then it clenches in pain.
Why do parents have children only to cast them aside like trash? What did children ever do to deserve such a cruel fate?
My stomach churns. My teeth grind against each other as my jaw tenses. My fingers tighten around the handle of the bassinet.
Why? Why do heartless parents exist? It's unfair. Unacceptable. Unforgivable.
As soon as my gaze falls on the baby, my anger vanishes. Even though her smile is gone, her eyes still seem to sparkle like a pair of aquamarines as they stare at me intently, curiously, expectantly.
I give her a smile as I sit on the bench. I put the bassinet down beside me and stroke her cheek.
"What am I going to do with you?"
The obvious answer would be to report the matter to the police so they can find this baby's family. I can't do that, though. If I go to them, they'll ask questions about me. They might not even believe that I just found this baby in a bus. What if they think I've taken this baby from someone and throw me in jail? Worse, what if they find out what I have done?
I shake my head. No, I can't go to the cops. I didn't come all this way just to turn myself in.
What, then? I can't keep this baby. I have no money. I spent most of the cash I'd saved up to buy bus tickets. I have no home, no family. I don't know the first thing about taking care of babies. In fact, I don't know a lot of things. I dropped out of school in fifth grade and I've spent most of the past eleven years locked up. How am I supposed to take care of a baby when I'm not even sure I can take care of myself?
Then there's that matter about Jim. Even if the cops don't come after me, his friends might. Maybe they won't be able to find me since I changed buses three times and made sure to hide my face from the cameras at the different bus stops - that much I learned from watching TV. But there's still a chance they will. Even though I've cut my hair, they can still recognize me.
I can't run with a baby in tow. If they catch us, they'll kill us both. I can't put this baby's life at risk like that.
I brush the mahogany curls away from the baby's forehead.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't keep you."
As much as I hate the thought of abandoning this baby who's already been discarded once, my only option is to leave her on someone's doorstep. Hopefully, that someone will do the right thing and bring this baby to the cops so they can find her parents. Or maybe they'll be kind enough to find her a good home, maybe with a childless couple who will love her like their own and take better care of her than her own parents. Whatever the case may be, she'll be better off with someone other than me. I'm just a courier, the stork that has to deliver her to her home, the ferrywoman who has to get her where she needs to be. After I fulfill my task, I'll leave. I was going to start over here, but I can do that somewhere else instead. It's fine. I'll just sell Jim's watch to get money for another bus ticket.
I draw a deep breath. One thing at a time. First, I have to leave this baby somewhere safe.
I get off the bench. "Shall we?"
I take the bassinet and start walking away from the road. I've only taken a few steps when someone bumps against my shoulder.
"Ow!" the other person complains.
I realize it's a woman around my age - or maybe she's younger than I am? Her oval face is framed by long locks of dark hair and she has a purple scarf wrapped around her neck. She looks angry, too. At least, she does at first. As soon as she sees the bassinet, her expression softens.
"I'm so sorry," she apologizes quickly. "I didn't see you."
I shake my head. "It's okay."
I didn't see her either. I didn't think anyone would be here this early. Besides, the baby seems fine. She stares at the stranger with her wide eyes.
"Hi there!" The woman's voice rises a few octaves