She took Jacey’s hands, held them tightly. “But I wanted you and I wanted to give you the kind of childhood I hadn’t known. So I left Julian.”
“But you loved him.”
“Yes.”
A tear streaked down Jacey’s cheek and Mikaela forced herself not to wipe it away. Some tears were meant to fall, had to fall. This was one of the many truths she’d failed to see in her life.
“You know what I remember?” Jacey said in a soft, fluttery voice. “When I was little, I used to ask you about my daddy. Every time I did, you cried, until I stopped asking. I ruined it for you, didn’t I?”
“No. Don’t ever say that.” Mikaela squeezed her daughter’s hand so tightly, she felt the thin bones shift. “I ruined it for me … for a while. Then I met Liam … and I found myself again. I know I’ve been dishonest with you and Liam, and I’ll have to find a way to make that right. Together we are a family, and that’s what we need to remember. We’ll get through this hard time.”
“Are you coming home?”
Home. The word elicited a memory so clear, Mikaela could have pressed it under glass and framed it.
Liam is sitting at the piano, wearing cut-off shorts and that ridiculous T-shirt he got at last year’s doctors’ convention. It reads: VIAGRA—KEEP YOUR SUPPLY UP. There are two wineglasses on the shining ebony surface of the piano. He is playing her favorite song: “A Time for Us.”
She comes up behind him, touches his shoulder. “Hey, piano man, get your wife to bed or lose your chance.”
He turns, smiles up at her, and it is there, in his eyes, the love, the welcome, the need she’s seen so many times and—until now—always taken for granted.
Mikaela laughed. She knew it was an inappropriate response, but she couldn’t help herself. The joy inside her was so big, so dizzyingly unexpected, that she wouldn’t have been surprised to look down and see that she was floating. “Come here, Jacey.” She opened her arms for a hug.
Mikaela clung to her daughter. God, it felt so good.
“Oh, Mom … I missed you. I was afraid—”
“Shhh. I know.” She stroked Jacey’s hair. “I know, baby …”
It came to her then, wrapped in the scent of her daughter’s hair, caught in the sticky dampness of tears, and Mikaela laughed and cried at the same time. “Oh … there it is! I remember your first day of school. You wore a black corduroy jumper and carried a Fraggle Rock lunch box. You wouldn’t get on the bus without me, so I went with you. I was the only mom there.”
Jacey drew back and smiled up at her. “I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, Jace, I love you, too, and I’m so sorry for ev—”
The door burst open. Bret and Rosa stood in the doorway. Rosa shrugged. “He thought that Jacey had enough time.”
Mikaela kissed Jacey’s damp cheek and drew back.
Bret stood motionless, his arms belted to his sides, his little hands curled into fists. His mouth was trembling and there was a look of fear in his eyes. This fear and uncertainty, he’d learned recently. The boy she’d raised was fearless … not this hesitant child.
The smile she gave him was weak and watery, and she could see that it scared him more. It wasn’t her smile at all.
She started to cry; there was no way to stop it. She knelt in front of him and opened her arms. “So, how’s my favorite boy in the whole world?”
He screamed “Mommy!” and flung himself into her waiting arms so hard that they toppled backward.
She lay there on the ugly linoleum floor, squeezing her son until neither one of them could breathe.
“I love you, Bretster,” she whispered against his small, pink ear. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. She felt, more than heard, his broken voice when he whispered back, “I love you, too, Mommy.”
At last they drew apart and climbed awkwardly to their knees. Mikaela’s weak right leg was trembling so badly, she couldn’t get to her feet. She stayed kneeling, unable to let go of Bret’s hand.
Over his head, she looked at Rosa, who was crying now, too.
Mikaela sniffled. “Too bad we can’t sell all this water to the Californians.”
Bret giggled. It was what Liam always said when Mikaela cried over a stupid movie.
She smiled at her son. “So, kiddo, what’s new with you?”
“Sally May Randle has a crush on me. She smells bad, but