guard dog.”
I lean down to retrieve my drink and smirk at him. “We stand with Lips. We always have, being indicted just means that you know where my loyalty lies. If I gave a fuck about the validity of the politics of Mounts Bay, I’d join the Game but I’ll have a seat at any table I want.”
Atticus stares at me for a moment and then steps back to motion at me to follow him, the look on his face expectant and demanding. When I glance back over at that Donnelley hag again, he grabs my arm and tugs me to his side.
A snarl rips out of Illi but I shake my head at him. “I’ll be fine, Illi. Have a drink, I’ll be back in a minute.”
Chapter Eleven
There aren’t that many places to speak in private so Atticus drags me to a supply closet.
We walk past Luca to get there, his eyes on us as Atticus swings the door open wide and shoves me in, gently but the hand on my arm is firm. It makes me feel as though I’m about to be scolded like a child and I have exactly no interest in submitting for that.
“I have more important things to do tonight than argue with you about some slut you’ve sold yourself to.”
His eyes narrow as he shuts the door behind himself, the room falling into darkness. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust but when they do, I find boxes stacked up everywhere and a pissed off man who looks as though he’d like to strangle me.
I know all too well what that looks like.
He steps forward until he’s crowding me into the wall and snarls at me, “I need you to stop being a child about this!”
I startle away from him. “A child? You think I’m being a child about the man that I have loved and craved and longed for just giving up on me and for what? For some misguided sense of self-sacrifice?”
His eyes narrow and he stalks forward. “Self-sacrifice? Really, Floss, you know better than that.”
I let out a deep breath and ignore the burning in the back of my eyes. I will never cry in front of this man again. “I don’t want a man who will give me up the second things get hard. My life has been nothing but difficult so far, Crow. I don’t expect that to change anytime soon and I only accept people who would kill for me. Every member of my family would bleed and shed blood for me… you’ve only ever proven you’d leave me for my own good. That’s not what I want.”
I turn on my heel and stalk towards the door.
Atticus Crawford has never, not once laid a hand on me.
I can count on one hand the amount of times he’s hugged me, I have enough fingers to tally up the times he’s brushed my hand with his own, so I’m not expecting him to grab me and stop me from leaving.
I’m certainly not expecting his hand to clamp down on my neck, spinning me around and forcing me into his arms before I even realize he’s touching me. His hand stays on my neck, holding me still as he leans down with fire in his eyes and breathes the words against my lips.
“I killed for you long before your brother did. I was bleeding out the buyers your father auctioned you off to before you made it to middle school. You think I walked into the Game clean? My hands were dripping with the blood of men who wanted to destroy you, Avery. Don’t you ever tell me I gave you up, I have never given you up. I’ve tried to give you a good life, if you don’t want that then you’re mine. No more coming to meetings with the Butcher draped all over you, no more dancing in the Bay with the Stag. You have my full attention. What are you going to do with it?”
I stare him down and it occurs to me that now he’s finally saying to me exactly what I always wanted.
That’s not what I want anymore.
I do want him… but I’m not going to give up Aodhan for him. I’m not going to stop being who I am just to have him.
I want more than that.
“It’s too late, Atticus. You should’ve taken me when you had the chance.”
His hand tightens around the back of my neck and I think if it