about it. This is your life, not theirs.”
“It’s hers too. And they’re nagging me day and night.”
“They’re brainwashing you to marry the girl they want.”
“Sometimes that works,” he said, sounding depressed about it. “A lot of Jewish families had arranged marriages. My grandparents did. I think they were happy.”
“This is the twenty-first century. You can’t let them do this to you.”
“I’m twenty-five years old. They think I should be married and having kids by now.”
“My parents got married at twenty-two. They’re the only people I know who pulled it off. Today that doesn’t work. Look at the mess I just made, and I was in love with him when we got married.”
“But you go for the exciting ones. That’s a big mistake. The exciting ones never last. The boring ones probably do. She won’t cheat on me. She’ll be pregnant all the time.”
“Sam, wake up! Don’t do something stupid. This is your future you’re talking about. Sixty years maybe. Possibly seventy.”
“And they’re my parents. I’m supposed to honor them too.”
“You’re breaking my heart.”
“Now you sound like my mother. She says that to me twenty times a day.”
“Go out and get laid, or drunk or something. Have a ham sandwich.” He laughed but she could feel that she was losing the battle. “One of us has to marry the right person. And I think you’re it.”
“Maybe she is the right person.”
“For someone else,” Coco said, pleading with him, but his parents had beaten him down, and he sounded confused. They talked for a long time and then he had to go to dinner with them. She wished him a happy Chanukah, and promised to call him in a few days. Her heart was aching for him when they hung up. He deserved so much better than Tamar.
* * *
—
The Christmas party Nigel and Coco gave in their new home was beautiful. They got a Christmas tree and their florist decorated it for them with antique angels. Nigel hired carolers to sing as the guests came in. Now that he was back, he was billing everything to Coco again, which was lucky for him. He’d been down to his last few hundred pounds when she relented and let him come home. The buffet was delicious, with plenty of caviar. People showed up in good spirits, and were vastly impressed by the house. In the end, they had sixty people, which felt right to Coco, although Nigel was disappointed that more people hadn’t shown up. But it was snowing and freezing cold, so some guests stayed home, or had other parties to go to.
Coco and Nigel were getting along better than they had in a long time. He was very careful not to upset her. He gave her a gold bracelet for Christmas that he had paid for himself with a credit card.
He hadn’t started looking for a job yet, but promised her he would after New Year’s. And she promised not to nag him about it until then. They went to midnight mass together on Christmas Eve, and she gave him the espresso machine he had wanted, and an Hermès sweater. They planned a ski weekend for their anniversary in January, and a week before that, something occurred to Coco that she hadn’t thought about before. She stopped at the pharmacy on her way to work, bought a test kit, and wanted to do it at the office, so he wouldn’t be around. It had just dawned on her that she hadn’t had a period since November, before Nigel had moved back in. She didn’t know what she wanted while she waited for the test to give her the answer. She didn’t feel ready for a baby yet, but maybe that was what they needed now, to stabilize their marriage. It had been a tumultuous year. She was shocked when the test was positive, even though she suspected that it might be. She was happy and terrified all at the same time.
She didn’t say anything to Leslie. She wanted Nigel to be the first to know. She knew it was what he wanted, and would bond them to each other for life, a child. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make for him, even if it seemed too soon to her, and she felt too young. She sped home in her car between appointments, and told Leslie she’d be right back. She didn’t want to wait until that night to tell him.
She let herself into the house as