I pleaded and begged. I tried to convince them I was different. That I changed. That I was better. That I could be the daughter they would want around them.”
“Lilly.” Her name was all I could say. The only thing she’d want to hear because if she kept talking, I might risk admitting what I wanted to do to her parents. Which involved a shallow grave and the possibility of me spending more than seven years where she’d been.
“It’s stupid, isn’t it? A daughter should never have to beg and plead for her parents to love her. It should just be given, right?”
“It should.” Unfortunately, we both knew how sometimes that simply didn’t happen. “Why are you doing this tonight?”
“Because tomorrow’s Christmas, and I know it’s not the New Year yet, but I guess… I guess I wanted to say goodbye to them before I started new memories with your family.”
The stack of envelopes was a heavy weight burning my palm, but on the table, there was one letter left.
She reached forward and held it gingerly between her fingers. “I’m sending this one to my mom. I figured if I used Valor Holdings envelopes, there’s a greater chance she’ll open it.”
Or her dad would. Knowing what I knew of her family, my bet was Lilly’s mom didn’t get the option to do much of anything in her life.
“So, how is this one different?”
“I told my mom how disappointed I was in her for not protecting us, for being so beaten down she let Dad have his way with us, beating the crap out of Josh. Ignoring me. I told her to tell my dad I hated him and everything he stood for. For his hypocrisy and throwing me into prison because he couldn’t deal with anyone saying anything bad about him. I told them that I started a life here, a good one, and I was glad they were so far away from me and wanted nothing to do with me because they could never tarnish what I’ve made for myself.”
Well, shit. She rattled it all off with a dead droll to her tone, making a rock grow into a boulder inside my stomach. “That’s a lot, Lilly. Pretty heavy.”
And would, undoubtedly, piss her father the hell off. She had to know the only consequence of that was her mom ending up the victim of her dad’s anger. If she didn’t think of that, I didn’t want to tell her. Pride was a living, pulsing thing inside my chest for what she wanted to say to them. How far she’d come. How much she’d grown.
“I don’t even know if they’ll read it, but I needed to say it regardless.”
I drifted my fingers through her hair, kissing the top of her head. For several moments I waited while she stared at the envelope.
With a flick of her wrist, she tossed it like a frisbee back to the coffee table and blew out a breath.
“And how do you feel now?”
She shrugged, shoulder bumping into my chest and ribs. “I feel like a complete bitch. And guilty.”
“Lilly…”
“And yet, I also feel better.” She twisted, tilted her face so she could look directly at me. “Is that bad? That being so completely horrible to my parents makes me feel good?”
Oh Lilly. This poor, broken, and wounded woman who’d only ever wanted to be loved and now that she had it, had no idea how to handle it. No wonder why she kept running from me.
I scared the hell out of her.
“I’m so damn proud of you. I think you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met, probably braver than most men. You haven’t just survived your parents’ abuse over the years. You’re making your own life without any help. You’re kind. You’re funny as hell and sassy. You never let them beat you, even when they beat you down.”
“Hudson.” Her smile wobbled and then grew strengthened. I loved the way I made her smile. I loved seeing her show her strength. Mostly, I just loved her.
“You’re incredible, Lilly. I’m honored to know you, honored you’d give me your trust in ways I know you haven’t gifted to others, and make no mistake, earning your trust is a gift.” My hand cupped the back of her neck. Tilting her head back farther, I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers, whispering as I finished with, “And I treasure it. I will forever.”
She kissed me back, lips shaking beneath my soft ministrations until she leaned forward,