me in the dim lighting of the attic. Of all the people in my life, Amber was the last person I’d expected to hear that from. “You think I should go to California?”
She gave me a sad smile as she gestured to the letter in my hands. “In light of everything, it might be good for you to get away for a bit.”
I stared at her, and she added quickly, “Not forever.” She took my hand in hers again and squeezed. “Lord knows I don’t want you to leave us for good.”
I studied her face. “But you do think I should go?”
Her expression was unreadable. “I think… I think you could use a change. Get some perspective and maybe see what your options are….” She trailed off with a shrug. Her expression turned rueful. “I don’t know, maybe I’m out of line.”
I shook my head and squeezed her hand. “You’re not out of line. I want to hear your opinion, you know that.”
Her smile was warm and sweet, and it tugged at the guilt that always tended to surface these days when Amber was around. How easy would my life be if I could feel for her the way she felt about me?
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’d never be able to see her as more than a friend. I looked away from the obvious infatuation in those brown eyes and focused on the topic at hand. “I can’t believe you of all people want to see me go to Hollywood with Lila.”
“I don’t want you to go with Lila.”
I looked over at her, and she raised her free hand to cup my cheek. Her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “I want you to go with me.”
I couldn’t stop her in time, and her lips were on mine.
I held her shoulders and pushed her back as gently as I could. “I’m sorry,” I said.
Her smile held only a hint of embarrassment as she shook her head. “I’m not.” She shifted, already starting to get to her feet. “It was worth a shot.”
I watched her disappear with lead in my gut. I’d never wanted to hurt one of my oldest friends. I went after her, but when I hit the foyer, I found my mom instead, wringing her hands as she watched Amber race out the door to her car.
“Is everything okay?” my mother said.
I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I should’ve kept calm. But for the first time in forever, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Anger and resentment and guilt and shame—they came to the surface, and I couldn’t hold them back.
“I know about Dad,” I said. The words came out rushed and stilted. “I know about how he died. I know about you, I—” I shook my head sharply and clamped my mouth shut.
But the damage was done.
My mother’s face grew pale, and her eyes widened with horror. Then the tears started, as I knew they would. She shook her head and reached for me, clutching the fabric of my shirt with a desperate grip. “What did Jack tell you? It’s lies. He’s lying.”
Jack. I stared at her as his name registered through her tears and her wailing. Jack?
I peered at my mother, but this wasn’t one of those moments. Her eyes were clear. She knew where she was and who she was talking to.
“What does Jack know?”
Her eyes widened, and I saw the fear, the guilt.
And then she was gone. Retreating into herself the way she always did when the past came back to haunt her. Whimpers and tears were the last I saw of her as I followed in Amber’s wake and headed toward my truck.
I didn’t know where I was going. Not right then.
But I knew who I had to see.
Sixteen
Lila
I walked out to the living room and found Tess reading a book on the couch. “Tell me honestly, do I look ridiculous?”
Tess’s eyes widened, but then she got all blubbery and weird as she clasped a hand over her heart. “Oh Lila, you look beautiful.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please. You are so not going to get all proud big sister on me, are you?”
That sapped most of her corny sentimentality in an instant. She dropped her hand with an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, I forgot for a second that you’re still a little brat.”
I gave her a saccharine smile in return.
She eyed me from head to toe. “Seriously, though, you do look good.”
I made a face. “Not ridiculous?”
She eyed the pale pink dress. It