been there for me at the hospital. I was absolutely certain he had a lot to process with the death of his brother and my involvement. It didn’t sit right with me that he was alone for his brother’s service. “Penny for your thoughts?” Chase asked.
“Do you think Kai is alone at the funeral?” I asked.
Chase started his car, and a cool blast of air-conditioning hit me in the face. “I don’t think Lex had many friends. I’m sure a lot of his business associates are trying to distance themselves from him as much as possible.”
“It feels wrong,” I whispered. “I’m happy Lex is gone. I’m thankful that the bastard is out of my life,” I whispered. I’d felt a lot of anger about what had happened to me. Mom wanted me to go to a therapist, and once things had settled a bit, I probably would. But my anger didn’t take away from my love for Kai. I might not have been able to fully articulate my forgiveness, but it didn’t eradicate how much I cared for him. Love wasn’t something that just disappeared. My feelings for Kai were always there. Even when he hurt me. Even when he was distant. Kai had my heart whether I liked it or not; I just had to come to terms with what that meant. I hated the idea of him sitting all alone, mourning the last bit of family he had. I knew better than anyone that regardless of a person’s humanity—meaning their mistakes—there was still love when they were gone. There was still loss.
“You want to go to the funeral?” Chase asked softly, already reading my thoughts. He sounded surprisingly kind, and there wasn’t a hint of judgment in his tender gaze.
“Think I’ll look weird showing up in athletic shorts and a tank top?” I asked while looking at myself.
“I think you could show up naked, and Kai wouldn’t care. Let’s go, Honeybum. Kai needs us.”
“Us, huh?” I asked with a teasing smile. The stretch of my lips made the bruises on my face sting.
“Yeah, yeah. The asshole is my friend too. Let’s go take care of him and shit,” Chase said. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. They were friends now?
The ride to the funeral home was bumpy, and every jolt of Chase’s sports car made my body jerk, though I tried to steel my face so as not to show how pained I really was. I knew Chase would happily drag my ass home if I was hurting. But our mission was deeper than cuts and bruises. Kai had a festering wound that needed time. This was a wound that needed the support of those who loved him most. And I knew there was no way in hell I’d let Kai do this alone.
When we pulled up to the funeral home, Kai was sitting on the front steps, cradling an urn. He wore his usual uniform of board shorts and an unbuttoned shirt. His hair was a wild mess, and he stared at the ground, lost in his own world. He didn’t drag his eyes away when Chase pulled to a stop right in front of him. He didn’t blink when I slowly got out of the car and shuffled my way to him. He didn’t even look up when I called his name.
“Kai?”
“What am I supposed to do with his ashes?” Kai asked. “I don’t want them in my house. Mom is buried, but…” Lex was cremated by chance, not by choice. “I don’t really know him well enough to even know what he would want. He didn’t surf. Didn’t like the ocean much. He liked titties, cocaine, and Jack Daniels. I don’t even want this,” Kai said while looking down at the urn in his hands. I shuffled my weight from one leg to the other, and the move drew Kai’s attention to me.
“Fuck, Breeze. What are you doing? You need to sit down.” Kai handed his brother’s remains to Chase, who looked like he wanted to toss it at a nearby concrete wall. Chase’s lip curled, but he tried to remain neutral. He’d grown so much. “Are you okay?” Kai asked.
“I’m fine. Why don’t we go to Chase’s house, okay? We can find the right resting place for Lex.”
Kai scoffed. “If I could find a gate to hell, I’d toss his ashes there.”
I let out a sigh. “I know it’s hard,” I whispered. It was difficult to do this. The hurt part of me—the part