erection he’d had, but maybe it was more a result of adrenaline brought on by the fighting. “We’ll forget what happened here.” She brushed past him. “The aftermath of the battle heightened our physical reactions. Totally normal.” She prayed only she heard the quaver in her voice.
“Normal?” He was right beside her. She didn’t dare look at him. He was too perceptive not to see the unease in her eyes.
“Sure. We’re both healthy adults. It’s natural to seek to validate life after being surrounded by such death.”
“Good thing you were with me and not Baraj.”
She swung around, leading with her fist before she thought about what she was doing. She pulled back and dropped her arm. “Yeah, good thing.” If that was what he thought of her, she was better off without him.
He swore long and fluently. “That was uncalled for. I apologize. I know better. And I’m frustrated.”
He wasn’t the only one. Her core was throbbing and her skin itched.
“Forgive me.” When he touched her shoulder, all the fight went out of her.
They had to settle this before they went any further. The throbbing behind her eyes was getting worse. The day was already too warm for comfort and the sun had barely risen. “I’m sorry, too. That was as much my fault as yours.” She could have told him no instead of grabbing him.
“It’s no one’s fault. This isn’t the place to discuss this. When this is over, there will be time for us.”
“Sure.” He might believe what he was saying, but she didn’t. Not that he was intentionally lying, but when his job was done, he’d leave. It seemed she’d spent her entire life picking up the pieces of her life after men left her. First her father, then her brother, and now him.
I’m done.
She couldn’t keep doing this. Couldn’t keep opening herself up only to be hurt. Hardening her heart shouldn’t be difficult since she was mostly there. She wasn’t taking sex off the table, but her emotions were strapped down tight. Virginity wasn’t something she prized since she’d never planned to marry. There’d never been a man she’d wanted to risk being physically vulnerable with before she’d met Zaxe.
New plan—rescue her brother, go home, get Reman off her back, and figure out what to do with the rest of her life. And if the opportunity presented itself, she’d have sex with Zaxe. Then she’d know what the fuss was all about and could forget about it. In time, he’d be nothing more than a memory. With any luck, he’d be a fond one.
Her heart would be safe. She had no expectations. It was easier that way.
“Let’s move.” She shrugged off his hand and walked away.
****
Something had changed. Jamaeh had emotionally closed down between one heartbeat and the next. He cursed himself in a dozen languages. If his sisters heard what he’d said to her, they’d kick his ass, and rightfully so.
But hearing her talk about what had happened between them as nothing more than adrenaline and the situation had pierced both his heart and ego. Like the assassin he was, he’d gone on the offense, striking back at her verbally. The jab about Baraj was a grave insult to them both.
He’d never been this involved, this distracted by a woman. The idea of her kissing another man, caressing him, letting him touch her made him crazy. There was nothing he could do if she chose to give her attention to another. They weren’t dating, had no commitments. And she was a vibrant, beautiful woman.
I’ll kill any man who touches her.
Zaxe shook his head. If he didn’t get his head out of his ass, he’d get them both killed. Following her lead, he fell back on the training of his youth. Controlling his physical and emotional responses was second nature, or had been. Since they’d escaped the clutches of Artemis, he’d been lax in his mental exercises. Physically, he was in the best shape of his life. Emotionally, he’d dropped his guard.
Ice encased his heart. It was a lonely way to live, but it was the only way to survive the battle ahead. Protecting Jamaeh would take a physical and emotional toll, but he’d pay it, and pray there would be time for them when the mission was done.
More likely, the king of Gravas would call him back. Gripping the blaster, he eased around Jamaeh, taking the lead once again. The king could call, he was done. It was time for him to seek his destiny.