yell at him, the words coming out vicious, surprising me.
Mateo flinches like I’ve hit him. “I do understand. This isn’t easy for me either, Alejo. I understand, but I also know that when it comes to love, life does what it can to fuck things up. You’re both smart, consenting adults here. You both knew what the risk was by being together and you took that risk. And now…now you are left with choices. I can’t tell you what the right choice is, either. You have to figure that out for yourself. Selfishly, I hope you both make the right one for the sport, for the team, because I can’t imagine this game without either of you in it.”
He gives us one last look and a stiff smile and goes for the door. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
The door closes.
I’m left standing there, my heart hammering against my ribs so hard they might break. I have the most awful feeling in my stomach, like I’ve swallowed a ball of acid that’s slowly disintegrating, spreading its caustic liquid throughout my body and eroding me from the inside out.
Slowly, I turn to look at Thalia.
She’s sitting on the couch, hands wringing together, her face pale. Her eyes look almost dead, they’re staring into space, frozen in some kind of fear.
“Thalia,” I say gently. “We can fix this. We can work through this.”
She doesn’t say anything but I notice how hard she’s breathing. Her chest is rising and she’s trying to breathe deep through her nose. Maybe avoiding a panic attack, but fuck if I’m not about to panic for the both of us.
“Thalia, please say something.”
She rubs her lips together, eyes still frozen.
Her mouth opens and the words are slow to come out.
“I…knew this was going to happen,” she says, almost as if in a dream. “I knew this was going to happen. From the start, I knew that it couldn’t go on forever. That at some point I would have to choose. That’s why I resisted you for so long, for as long as I could. My heart…I couldn’t bear it breaking it again.” A lone tear trails down her cheek. “And yet, here we are. My heart is breaking and I’m not sure how I’m ever going to get through it.”
What is she saying?
I slowly walk over to her, sit down beside her on the couch, leaning in to try and capture her attention, my hand over her hands. She feels cold.
“Thalia, I’m not breaking your heart. We’re going to be together. I promise you.”
Finally, she turns to look at me, eyes welling with tears, terror etched on her brow. “How? How can we be together now?”
“We keep sneaking around. We find a way. I love you. I love you so much that…it’s impossible to keep us apart. I’ll love you until I’m dead, and I’m not dying anytime soon.” I grip her hands tight but she doesn’t grip them back.
I need her to grip them back.
I need her to hold onto me and not let go.
“Thalia, please,” I beg. “We can make it work.”
“We can’t,” she says softly, staring into space again. “It’s impossible.”
“We’re the impossible. We’re the inevitable.”
“Alejo,” she says, her voice cracking. “We can’t sneak around. We will get caught and I will be fired. Mateo may be a friend to you, even a father figure, but he’s still your coach, and he’s my boss. He will do what he can for you but…not at the expense of his career. Or yours. I…” She looks at me, the tears spilling now as she shakes her head. “I’m so sorry.”
“No,” I tell her, grabbing her face, kissing away her tears, the salt hitting my tongue and making my heart splinter. “No, no, there is nothing to be sorry for. This isn’t the end. We’re not…we’ll find a way.”
“There is no way, don’t you see?” she pleads. “Unless I quit.”
“You are not quitting! I’m quitting.”
“You can’t. I would never let you do that and you can’t anyway.”
“Then I’ll buy out my contract.”
“It’s not worth it!”
“You’re worth it!” I yell. “You’re worth everything to me, more than the game, more than anything else I hold dear in the world. Fuck, Thalia, you are my world and everything in it. You are my sun, my heart. You’re…not doing this.”
“Then you know what we have to do,” she says. “We have to end this.”
I shake my head violently, still holding onto her face, the panic and the horror a fist in my