are you talking about? How have I been sinning?”
“I’m your elder.”
“So what if you are?”
“What does the scripture say about your elders, Kenneth?”
His face went blank for a minute. The Bible said plenty about elders. Ted could tell he was trying to decide where he had made an offense, but he wasn’t willing to wait for him to figure it out.
“You’re trying to lead this operation―you said you were the ‘Chosen One,’ whatever the hell that means―when we’ve only ever worked together as a team. You’re trying to establish yourself here, trying to push me aside and take control, but I won’t have it. 1 Peter 5:5 says that ‘Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.’ Have you forgotten that? By rising up and trying to run the show, by having an edge in your voice when you speak to me in utter disrespect, you are sinning. For your soul’s sake, I suggest you repent. Because unless you repent, you will perish.”
“I disagree. I don’t see how I’ve sinned.”
“Are you arguing with me, or with Him? There’s a big difference, Kenneth, and I’m not the only one watching. You know what you’ve done, you know the tone of voice you used with me when I got lost in the woods. You also know how you’ve treated me since. Get on your knees and repent. Bow down now and repent or perish. Listen to Acts 3:19: ‘Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that time of refreshing may come from the Lord.’ Are you hearing me? Are you hearing Him? Your choice, boy, but I pray you make the correct one, because I’d hate to work without you.”
And Kenneth Berkowitz, who never had bowed to anyone except to God, thought of what Ted said to him and came to the conclusion that he was right. He had sinned against his elder. He had spoken to him with a condescending edge. He lifted his head to the sky and closed his eyes, which became moist after a moment of shame and regret.
Sometimes, he felt that all of this was too much, too tiring and taxing, but he had to believe that what he was doing with Ted was right and worth the effort. If he didn’t believe that, then what was the point? What was the use of doing any of this?
Just as Ted had lost his way in the woods, he was on the cusp of losing his way with God. He put his hand on Kenneth’s shoulder, nodded at him and dropped to his knees.
In the distance, there was a disturbance in the air.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Kenneth,” Ted said, turning to his left and looking down the road, where he thought he could hear something, though he wasn’t exactly what. “It’s not about me. You need to admit your guilt and promise to God that you will never repeat the sin again. Are you willing to do that?”
“Of course, I am.” He started to weep.
Now Ted understood the sound. A car was coming in their direction.
“I didn’t mean any of it,” Kenneth said. “I’m just caught up, that’s all. I know we work well together. I’ll never do it again. I promise. And I do repent. I do.”
“Kenneth, I need you to stand up.”
But Kenneth didn’t hear him. He was in touch with God. He was in the in between. He was on a higher plane and his soul was dizzy from it. “I know I did wrong by You today. I’m so sorry to You and to Ted. Please forgive me, Father.”
“You need to stand up. Now.”
“What Ted and I have created has helped to cleanse the world of its whorish sinners. We’ve made a difference. Not nearly enough, for sure, but we’ve done things that no one has done and we will soldier on.”
Soon, the car would crest the hill far off to their left. “Get up,” he said to Kenneth. “Get up!”
But Kenneth, in the full throes of the Lord and how he had sinned against Him, lowered his face to Ted’s boots. He pressed his cheek against them, he kissed them, he lifted his hands to Ted’s calves, he leaned his face against his knees, and he cried. When he did so, the car came over the hill and Ted nudged Kenneth with his foot.
“Get the fuck up!”
But it was too late. The sight of a grown man on his