You Know I Need You (You Are Mine #4) - Willow Winters Page 0,16

install a security system and fix a window.”

“A window?” Maddie asks and Sue tilts her head in confusion that matches Jules’s furrowed brow.

Huffing out a breath, I decide not to elaborate on that. “I wish Evan would stop living like he’s twenty-one and doing stupid things … like leaving me.”

“I can’t imagine him walking away when he knows you’re pregnant,” Sue says although I’m not sure it was intended for me. She stares absently at the roaring fire, the crackling filling the silence that follows her words.

“I think that’s what hurts the most. It was so … When I told him, he was just so …” I have to pause and close my eyes. I remember the way he held me and kissed me, and it kills me.

“Hey now,” Sue says. “You’re going to be fine regardless. He’s got a situation he’s dealing with.”

I roll my eyes at the word “situation.”

“The fact that he has any situation is the problem.” All of my frustration flies out of my mouth. “We should have our lives together. Stability and a family.”

It’s silent once I’ve finished. Maddie looks down at the rug and Jules has an expression of sympathy, although neither says anything.

“I agree,” Sue responds gently after a moment.

“It’s going to be okay,” Maddie speaks up although she doesn’t look at me, she just picks at the rug. She shrugs and says, “Being pregnant and single is like the new trend anyway.”

I let out a little laugh, and it breaks up the tension. Maddie even smiles.

“Well, at least it’s fashionable then.” My hand moves to my belly subconsciously and a surge of strength eases my pain.

I can do this, and I deserve happiness. I’m worthy of that. If Evan doesn’t think so, then he’ll have to deal with the consequences.

“Forget him,” I tell them. “If he wants to act like he’s perpetually twenty-one, then he can do it alone.”

I move a throw pillow to my lap and hold on to it.

“You’re going to be fine regardless,” Sue says, repeating her earlier sentiment.

“And we’re going to throw you the best shower ever,” Maddie adds, taking over the conversation again. Bringing it to happier topics.

“What theme do you want? The elephants or bees … or whatever else is in that bag?” Jules asks me as if it’s all we should be talking about. I suppose it is. I’m done with Evan and this instability.

“I’ll have to think about it,” I answer and bury myself into the sofa. “Maybe when we know if it’s a boy or a girl, then we can decide?” A light feeling seems to lift my shoulders like a weight is gone. Maybe it’s the feeling you get when you’re truly done with someone. When there’s no way they can make it right again and you’ve come to accept it.

Maddie steers the conversation toward baby shower talk, and her voice is peppy as she says something about a Pinterest board.

My gaze falls on each of the girls in turn, all of them here for me. Jules catches my eye and rests her hand on my thigh, mouthing the words, “It’s going to be okay.”

For a short moment, maybe a second or two, I feel like it might.

Evan needs time to realize what it means to be the man I need.

Hopefully the time I need to get over him completely and stop falling for his charm is less than that. Because I can’t do this again. I can’t, and I won’t.

Diary Entry One

Mom,

It’s been a while.

I miss you guys, but you already know that. I could really use your advice now.

I know Evan loves me. I can feel it when he looks at me, but when he’s not with me, I feel like he doesn’t. I know I’m insecure, but he’s been so weird lately. He’s acting crazy and it scares me a little. You wouldn’t like it.

I don’t even want to tell you. I’m so ashamed.

It’s that bad.

I know you never met him, but I swear he’s a good guy. I know he is.

But the thing is, he’s not doing good things.

The worst part is that he’s not stopping.

He knows we’re pregnant, and he’s not stopping. It doesn’t get much worse than that, does it?

I don’t know what to do.

He wants me to wait for him and I love him so much.

But I’m scared, Mom.

I cry all the time. That can’t be good for our little one.

I remember you crying when I was little and how you held me and sang