beyond.
“You truly have,” he said. “You never missed intimacy when you were married to your first husband?” he added, curious. “You were married for five years.”
“I read about it in a book,” she said. “If you’ve never been intimate with anyone, you don’t miss it, because you have no experience of it.”
“I suppose that makes sense.”
“I was curious, you know,” she added. “I tried all the things I read in magazines to get him interested. Slinky negligees, perfume, the works. He hugged me and said I looked beautiful and why didn’t I go shopping and buy a lot more negligees to delight him with.” She sighed. “So I bought a closetful. Then he sent me to MIT.”
“No men there, honestly?”
“I was married, Jake,” she reminded him, because they’d had this conversation before. “I’d never have cheated on him.”
His heart jumped, because he knew she’d apply that same logic to their marriage. No matter what, she’d never cheat on him.
“Why were you so self-conscious about these?” she asked, sliding her fingers gently over the big scar on his chest.
His hand covered hers. His eyes were on the wall, not on her. “A few months after I came home, one of my cowboys brought his girlfriend over for roundup. I had my shirt off. The scars weren’t healed, and they were still fresh and red. She told her boyfriend that she couldn’t stay out there where I was. She told him that she was sure I’d never get a girlfriend who could stand to look at me.”
“What a stupid woman,” she muttered.
He looked down at her, surprised and delighted by the expression on her face. She was outraged.
She felt his eyes on her and lifted her face. “And what sort of a man would even date a woman who had no heart?”
He laughed softly. “As a matter of fact, he was pretty outraged himself. He dropped her like a hot rock after that day.”
“Good!”
He shrugged. “All the same, I kept my shirt on afterward.” He made a face. “And when I was with women, I made sure the lights were out. Still, one of them felt the scars and said she was sorry, but she couldn’t go through with it. She got up and dressed and left. I got drunk.”
Her face contorted. She hadn’t known any of this about him. She was certain that nobody else knew it, either. It flattered her that he could share something so very intimate with her. Not that she liked the references about what he did with other women.
He was studying her. His pale silver eyes narrowed. “What an expression,” he mused. “Have I embarrassed you?”
“Yes,” she said flatly, trying not to blush. She failed.
His lean fingers touched her face with its exquisite complexion. “It was a long time ago,” he said gently. “I’m not a playboy now.”
She looked worried.
“Now what’s wrong?” he teased gently.
“It’s just that, well, you’re used to being intimate with women,” she said. “And I’m...broken.”
“And you think I’ll howl at the moon because I can’t sleep with you?” he asked, his eyes twinkling.
“You’re too honorable to cheat, and I’m terrified of men when the lights go out,” she pointed out. “Oh, Jake, what will we do if...?”
She stopped because his mouth settled slowly, tenderly, on her parted lips. She forgot what she’d started to say. Her eyes closed. He was gentle, not demanding anything. The sudden stiffness went out of her body and she sank against his strength, not protesting. Her fingers on his bare chest were like ice, but she didn’t pull them away.
“You can tell me what you want, when you want it,” he whispered against her lips. “If you don’t want anything, you can tell me that, as well.”
He lifted his mouth from hers and just looked down at her.
She felt her heart running wild, just from the slow, soft pressure of his mouth on hers. She looked oddly like a child on Christmas morning, faced with a lapful of presents.
He smiled.
She smiled back, fascinated.
“You understand what I mean?” he asked.
She nodded slowly. She looked at the broad expanse of his chest under her hand, at the powerful build of him, the rugged, handsome face, the thick black hair. She loved the way he looked. She loved the way he felt, so close against her. She wasn’t at all afraid of him.
He knew that. He could see it, in the relaxed softness of her body, in the quiet warmth of her blue, blue eyes.
“I’ll...try,” she said after a few