Wrong Question, Right Answer (The Bourbon Street Boys #3) - Elle Casey Page 0,115
me see the truth. I think you’ve tortured yourself over Charlie long enough, too. It’s time we both try to put our regrets in the past where they belong and move forward.”
“I would really like to be able to do that.” I squeeze his hand hard, my desperation coming through in my grip. Even though it makes my arms and shoulders ache and the bruises pulse, I hang on. I feel like he’s keeping me from drowning.
“Scootch over,” he says.
I do my best to make a space for him on the narrow mattress.
He lies down next to me, placing his hand gently on my belly. “Nobody said that life was going to be easy, but I think together we can make it more peaceful.”
“I think so too.” I feel like I’m going to throw up when I say that, but it’s only because the emotions are so huge and so alien to me. I’ve never felt comfortable depending on somebody else, so it’s a big sacrifice for me to even allow the idea that Lucky is going to be a part of my life and a part of the decisions that I make.
“I was a real asshole that night I came home drunk.”
My mouth trembles as I fight to keep from crying again. It feels so good to hear him say this. Charlie never apologized to me for the things he did.
“Yeah, you were.”
“I shouldn’t have put you through that. It was careless and unkind.”
“Yes.”
“You were right to not let me back in the house after. I needed to think about what I’d done to you and to us and to decide what I wanted from our situation.”
“And did you decide?”
“Yes. I did.” He holds my hand and strokes the back of it with his thumb. “I want us to be together. Like a real couple.”
I smile, relieved and overjoyed. A little scared, too. It’s a big commitment. “Was that hard for you to say?”
He kisses my fingers. “No. I thought it was going to be. That’s why I got drunk that night. I wanted to say all these things to you and express how I was feeling, but I wasn’t sure I could do it sober. It was stupid of me. You were right when you said I have to be a strong man to deserve you. I can be that man, Toni, if you’ll let me.”
“You really hurt my feelings.” I have to fight the tears away. My heart is burning. “It made me feel like I wasn’t worth the effort of doing it the right way.”
“God, that’s horrible,” he says, his voice trembling. “I’m so sorry. Please let me make it up to you? Please? I promise I’ll do it right this time. I don’t think that way about you at all.”
The burning in my heart cools to a soothing warmth. I’m done punishing him over a stupid mistake I could have easily made myself. I’m not always the bravest person in the world, either. “What do you have in mind?”
“Let me surprise you.”
I squeeze his hand. “Okay. I look forward to it.”
He leans in and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. “You won’t regret letting me into your life, I promise.”
“I know I won’t.”
The babies move under his hand as he strokes my belly gently. “Go to sleep, Milli and Vanilli. Your mama needs her rest.”
Minutes later, I close my eyes and drift off. I don’t know if it’s the drugs or Lucky’s presence, but no nightmares of Charlie come to visit me that night in the hospital.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
I’m able to put off seeing any more visitors until I’m home, but then I’m anxious to get the face-to-face meetings over with. I have some apologizing to do.
Talking to Charlie’s mom that way was a harebrained idea; I know that now. Unfortunately, when it comes to my life, clarity often exists only in hindsight. But I have Lucky now, and I feel confident that with the two of us together, we’ll be able to make better decisions. This is an especially good thing, because these babies are acting like they’re going to bust through my belly any day, even though they have a lot of growing to do between now and their due date.
As I sit on the couch waiting for Ozzie to arrive, I see a little bulge pushing up from inside me. I poke at it with my finger, wondering if Milli or Vanilli can feel me in there. I tap out some