was a catch. I was the Canine Crusader!
I heard the shower turn off and she finished dressing in the bedroom. Me and my pet trouser-snake had a painful ten minute wait until she returned to the kitchen.
“Clean in body and mind,” she smiled.
“I can do one out of two,” I said hopefully.
She glanced down at the truncheon in my pants and her eyes widened. For a second, I saw a flicker of interest. I swear I wasn’t imagining it, but then she looked away and reminded me that the shower was free.
I walked away like John Wayne after a long ride through Death Valley. And if this sex drought kept up, that’s exactly where I’d be.
Before the shower was even hot, I grabbed my knob and gave him some healing hands, reminding the poor sod that I really did still love him and promising that he wouldn’t drop off from lack of use.
Three strokes and a quick tug and I was creating a shower of my own.
I looked down breathlessly, feeling sorry for my dick who was hanging exhausted and limp.
“Listen, mate. I wish I could promise you some action in the near future, but I’d be lying. I’m working on Gracie and believe me, she’s worth waiting for. You’ve just got to hang on in there and try not to get too eager. You’re not a heat-seeking missile—try and have a bit of fookin’ class. I’ll take care of you, buddy. And no more shit second-hand jeans that cut off your blood supply.”
I finished washing lazily, had another quick wank to cheer up my depressed dick, and then dressed for the day ahead. By now it was time for morning coffee and cake, and my stomach was almost as hungry as my cock.
I tried to be a bit careful with food around Gracie. Left to my own devices, I ate huge portions, but I knew that large plates filled with food were off-putting to someone who was still dealing with anorexia, so my tried and tested method was small amounts but lots of them.
Gracie was smart, so she probably knew what I was doing, but it seemed to help. She’d scoffed more at breakfast than I’d ever seen her eat before. I figured that meant she was getting more relaxed around me. A score for the Canine Crusader! Sensitive to the needs of dogs and women.
Yeah, probably not an award-winning marketing motto.
By the time all five of us were dressed and ready to go, the sun had come out, reminding us what it looked like, a pale watery disc in the sky. I grabbed Gracie’s gloved hand and she threw me a surprised smile. When she didn’t let go, I felt happier than I had in decades.
But ya know, if some soppy fooker had told me last year that holding hands with a girl was enough to make me this happy, I’d have told him to piss off and get a life. Funny how your values change when you meet a woman who stops you in your tracks and rewires your brain, and I had no doubt that Grace Cooper was the one for me.
“Wotcha thinking about, Counselor?” I asked.
“Happy non-thoughts,” she smiled. “I’m just glad not to be at work and…”
“…the company is great,” I added for her in case she forgot.
“Yes, I’m really enjoying being with the dogs,” she teased. “Oh, and you. You’re not so bad.”
“Bloody hell, Gracie! You make me sound like the consolation prize at the lucky dip!”
She laughed but didn’t disagree. Instead, I got a hand squeeze, and that launched my happiness like an Apollo space mission.
“Why do you call me ‘Gracie’?” she asked, out of the blue.
“Dunno, really. It suits you though. And no one else calls you that, do they?”
She shook her head, her cheeks pink, then changed the subject.
“So, now you’ve reached $500,000, what plans does the Canine Crusader have?” she asked.
I grinned, very pleased with the awesome amount I’d raised.
“Everything!” I said. “All that dosh going to shelters around the city. It’ll keep them in Milk-Bones for a while. They’ll even be able to refurbish the dog runs.”
Tyson looked up in approval when I mentioned Milk-Bones—he was a complete slut for them—he’d do anything.
“What about long term? Are you still thinking about setting up your own charity? You know I could draw up the papers for you if that’s the direction you want to go. Or maybe you’d prefer to be a fundraiser for other charities? That could work