What I didn't do was turn the television's sound back on. That one little chat had given me just a bit too much to think about. I'd never even considered how not dating might confuse her. I'd just been so focused on getting everything right that I'd completely missed the obvious. I was supposed to be her example in life, and I really did want her to know that love was as much her right as anyone else's. Her happiness was just as valuable. How could I expect her to understand that if I was so busy ignoring my own?
Granted, I'd also had one glass of wine too many and been blindsided by a teenager. What I needed was a little cold air to help me think. Thankfully, that was easy enough to find. Grabbing a zip-up hoodie from beside the door, I reclaimed my wine and headed to the back. It wasn't fair that my child had just given me sage advice. This had to go against some rule of the universe.
And none of it dealt with an entire houseful of men chasing after the same woman. I was so conflicted about that. Yes, I loved the attention, but at the same time, I couldn't help but think that it might give Gabby the wrong impression. What I needed to do was look at this from her point of view. My daughter was a beautiful girl. At some point in the future, she'd have more than one guy interested in her. How would I want her to deal with that?
Honestly. That was the only answer I could think of. I was pretty sure she wasn't gay. Her interest in boys didn't seem fake. That didn't rule out her being bisexual or anything else - and I'd still love her just as much if she was. But to know that, she'd have to experiment. To show her that it was ok, I had to. That meant I had to stop thinking of her as my baby and wrap my mind around the fact that she was old enough to know how these things worked.
I needed to be honest with her. And with myself.
Gently easing the back door open, I stepped into the cool night air, trying to imagine what that would look like. There was a gentle breeze making the leaves rustle. The first were just starting to drop, but I wanted silence so my mind could whirl around in circles until I sorted this out. The problem was that I didn't get it.
In the cool air, sound carried just a little better. That made it easy to hear the male voices laughing in the next yard over. Voices I could now put names to. For a moment, I was annoyed, thinking that my peaceful moment to make sense of everything had been destroyed, then I heard my name.
"Elena shot me down again." That was definitely Ian, so I eased myself over to the bench and sat down to eavesdrop.
A deep laugh responded which sounded like it belonged to Lane. "She likes you, though. Every time you turn around, her eyes are all over you."
"I know," Ian agreed. "Half the time she doesn't even know she's doing it. Her problem is her daughter, and it's a real one, guys. How do we make this work?"
Pax spoke up next. "Wait for Gabby to go visit her dad?"
Trent scoffed at that. "I get the feeling he may skip his visitations."
"Friends," someone said. I was pretty sure that was Seth. "Teen girls do sleepovers and shit, right?"
"And drama club," Trent added. "That's going to be a lot of hours rehearsing."
"Yeah," Pax said, "but scheduling is only half our problem. Guys, she's convinced this is a race. Like we're all trying to one-up each other."
"He's right," Ian agreed, "and I'm starting to wonder if we even have a chance."
We? There was that word again, and it kept coming up.
"So we take it slow," Seth decided. "Pax already made some progress. I bet Trent won't have a problem. I've barely gotten the chance to talk to her, so I'm shit outta luck."
"There's also Lane," Pax said. "From what she told me, she was more upset that he gave up than that he kissed her."
"Really?" Lane asked.
The guys all laughed. "Really," Pax told him. "And Ian's decided this is our girl, so it's our job to make it happen."
"I'm doing plenty on my own," Ian assured them. "All I'm saying is that